Frankenseeds

I'm sure becoming a new mom has always been a challenge: adjusting to a new schedule, feeding times, changing diapers, the correct way a baby should sleep. . .  But today there are many concerns lurking out there that could literally scare you right out of motherhood:

-pesticides and other chemicals sprayed on your food
-BPA in plastic bottles among other numerous things
-lead, pthlates as well as other chemicals found in toys
-off gassing of toxic fumes from furniture, mattresses, etc. in your indoor air, not to mention outdoor pollution
-toxins in your personal care products and cleaning products 
-aborted fetal DNA found in many vaccines society pushes
-the once FDA approved children's medicines that have been recalled
-rise of childhood diseases
-GMOs-Genetically Modified Organisms

I could go on, but just typing this list makes me shudder at all the hazards my family faces.  Many of these subjects are of debate, some many people work to avoid in their daily lives, and still others are unheard of or given no thought by many people.  October is Non-GMO month so I have chosen today to write about the first irreversible technology in human history: Genetically Modified Organisms (GMOs).

What are GMOs?
First a little background-GMO's are organisms that are created when genes from one species are taken and forced into the DNA of another species.  This merging of DNA from different species (also called genetic engineering or GE, creates a plant, animal, bacteria, or viral gene that does not occur in nature or by traditional crossbreeding.  Almost all commercial GMOs are bred to withstand direct application of poison and/or produce their own poison.  In other words 1.  herbicide tolerant plants are those that live while weeds die when sprayed and 2. pesticide producing plants produce their own insecticide that opens up a bug's stomach when the plant is bitten and the bug dies.  GMOs can also be referred to as GM (genetically modified) or GE (genetically engineered) seed/food.

Why GMOs?
Genetically engineered food was to be the best technology to feed the world-it was to maximize yields, improve crop health, enhance nutrition and food quality, increase food safety, and reduce waste.  An increase in US exports  and food supply domination were foreseeable.  Farmers were attracted because GMO seeds were going to make it easier to kill weeds and increase their profit.

The Facts/We Want the Truth
Is feeding the world really the agenda?  Are people starving around the world because of not enough food production or because of lack of access, lack of money, or the lack of our society to share with one another?  Do the biotech companies simply want to control our food supply and make a buck. . . er, lots of bucks?  It seems greed and power are steering our fateful forks for none of the GMOs currently on the market offer increased yields, better nutrition, or improved lives for farmers.  Here are some examples:
    Exports and Food Yields
 1.The US has lost 99% of corn exports to Europe.  (Source)  Soy exports declined 70% in quantity and 44% in value since 1998.  (Source)  The International Assessment of Agricultural Knowledge, Science, and Technology (AASTD) reported that GM crop yields were non consistent and in some cases, they declined.  Sustainable non-GMO agricultural methods  in developing countries, on the other hand,  have conclusively yielded increases of 79% or higher.   The AASTD "determined that the current GMOs have nothing to offer the goals of reducing hunger and poverty, improving nutrition, health, and rural livelihoods and facilitating social and environmental sustainability.  (Source) 
      Crop Health and Waste Reduction
 2. There is a reduction in the use of herbicides on GM crops for the first few years.  But herbicides kill the beneficial microorganisms in the soils.  After a short amount of years, weeds become resistant (called "superweeds") and farmers must use more herbicides/pesticides.  In the US there are 325 million more pounds of pesticides applied to GM crops than their non-GMO counterparts.  There are currently 10,000 acres of cotton in Georgia now resistant to all herbicides.  There are now wanting to use 2,4-D-a component of Agent Orange.  (Genetic Roulette: the Gamble of Our Lives)   According to USDA data by the Center for Food Safety, farmers applied 4.9 million pounds of glyphosate (an active ingredient in Roundup) to soybeans in 1994.  This was the year before Roundup Ready seeds were planted in fields.  Gylphosate use by 2006, increased almost 20 fold, to 96.7 million pounds.  (Source)  (Source)
  Crop Health, Nutrition, and Food Quality/Safety
3.  Remember the loss of beneficial soil microorganisms?  Since the introduction of GM seeds there has been a dramatic increase in crop diseases. Sprayed plants are less healthy because of lack of nutrients in the soil, therefore the animals that eat them are nutrient deficient, weak, and sick.  We eat the plants and animals robbing ourselves of nutrients as well.  These residues end up in our bodies, "hugging" the nutrients and making them less available to us. (Genetic Roulette: the Gamble of Our Lives)   Roundup, for example, is  dangerous to our environment: plants, animals, water, and our soil.  It is linked to sterility, hormone disruption, birth defects, and cancer.  (Source)  (Source) (Source) (Source) 

   Food Nutrition and Safety 

4. "There are no human clinical trials and no agency that even attempts to monitor GMO-related health problems among the population," according to Jeffrey Smith in The Big GMO Cover-Up.   "Outside the carefully controlled laboratory setting, it is more difficult to confidently assign GMOs as the cause for a particular set of diseases. (Source)  The  Monsanto website, when answering questions about food safety, says there is no evidence to link the unsafe issues with GM food.  But the only people who have "proven" that GE foods are safe are the chemical companies that produce them.  The American Academy of Environmental Medicine (AAEM) publicly condemned GMOs in our food supply calling them a "serious health risk".  It states that several animals studies reveal a long list of disorders including reproductive problems, immune system problems-including asthma, allergies, and inflammation, accelerated aging, organ damage, problems with the gastrointestinal systems, and dysfunction with regulation of cholesterol and insulin.  The AAEM wants the government to implement an immediate moratorium on all GM foods and has urged physicians to prescribe non-GMO diets for all patients.  (Source)  Some doctors say that GE foods may be the reason for the increase in gastrointestinal problems.  Leaky guts in kids is also on the rise as well as allergic reactions and intolerance to foods.  (Genetic Roulette: the Gamble of Our Lives) 

 * GMO corn has been linked to significantly higher rates of tumors, organ damage and premature deaths in rats according to a November 2012 report published in Food and Chemical Toxicology.  

Even though there's no direct link because of the sly manipulation of the biotech industry, the increase in crop, animal, and human diseases in correlation with the introduction of GMOs speaks for itself.  I can honestly say that it's common knowledge that America is much sicker than it was 20 years ago and diseases, especially among the young, have increased.  According to the Centers for Disease Control, from 1994 to 2001, overall food related illnesses doubled. (Source)  I don't think it's ironic that the same health problems found in lab animals and livestock that have been fed GM foods are now on the rise in the US population.  Nor is it coincidence that when animals and humans stop eating GMOs, their health improves. (Genetic Roulette: The Gamble of Our Lives) 

Why didn't we all know about GMOs?  It seems as if the biotech companies didn't want us to.  It was done without our knowledge or consent.  You see, FDA scientists warned that GE food was harmful, but the FDA boss was a former Monsanto attorney and later their vice president (and currently a top FDA czar.) (Source)   (Source)  The FDA doesn't require any studies and doesn't monitor any health issues linked to GMOs.  Our food supply has been given over to a private multinational corporation-the same corporation that gave us DDT and Agent Orange.  They own a good portion of our commercial seed.  Source

If GM food really was all the biotech companies claim, they wouldn't be patenting seeds, suing farmers, "hushing" those who speak against GMOs in such ruthless ways, or putting seed cleaners out of business. Farmers can no longer save their seeds for replanting, but have to buy new seed each year. (Source)  Even some farmers who don't plant GMO seed have been sued after their fields were contaminated by pollen or seed from someone else's GE crop that sprouted or volunteered.  Monsanto's website reads: "producing more, conserving more, improving lives.  That's sustainable agriculture and that's what Monsanto is all about."  It also states "the Challenge: Meeting the needs of today while preserving the planet for tomorrow " Monsanto's history, however, has angered environmentalists, health advocates, and small farmers.  Its records does not support their claim. (Source) 

Read Vanity Fair's article to learn more about the "grip" Monsanto has on America's food chain and it's "ruthless legal battles on American small farmers".   

 http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/05/monsanto200805

  Profits
5. And whose profits have increased?? In 1974, Roundup was patented by Monsanto.  Today, Monsanto sells Roundup and most GM seeds.  GMO seeds are nearly twice as much as conventional seeds.  (Source)  In India, Monsanto controls the cottonseed industry.  Millions of farmers were forced to plant Bt cotton.  Not only do workers now suffer from itching and rashes in Bt fields versus the non GM fields, but the animals that graze on the fields get sick and die.  Farmers invested and borrowed money  in the more expensive Bt seeds and the chemicals needed to go along with the seed.  Since Bt cotton is so unreliable, it has caused a high suicide rate. An Indian farmer commits suicide every 30 minutes and 85% have been linked to the high import costs of the purchase of seeds.  (Genetic Roulette: The Gamble of Our Lives) (Source)
  Food Safety
6. GE seeds are laboratory-made and once released they cannot be recalled from the environment. (Source) The potential impact  of GMO contamination is huge.  GMOs cross pollinate and their seeds travel.  They are a threat to the health of future generations.  (Source) 
                                     

                                                       photo credit: http://momsforsafefood.net/2012/01/09/the-big-gmo-cover-up/

What's Modified?
1. soy
2. corn (not popcorn) but I will add that convenience  popcorn is "bathed" in GMOs
3. cottonseed (for oil)
4. Canola (for oil)
5. sugar beets (for sugar)
6. papaya (hawaiian and chinese)
7. zucchini
8. yellow crookneck squash
9. alfalfa (for hay)

There are only 9 genetically modified organisms, but over 70% of foods in the supermarket (mainly in processed foods) contain one or more GE ingredient. (Source) The list of GM ingredients is overwhelming and many can be tricky to find.  (Some examples include corn derivatives such as maltodextrin or hidden names of MSG such as hydrolyzed soy or vegetable protein, yeast extract or natural flavoring-and all its variations.)  Grab something out of your pantry or fridge.  Look over the ingredient list-I dare ya!  The challenge goes beyond packaged  food with a list of ingredients, however.  Think about the meat, eggs, and dairy products you consume. What did the animals supplying this food eat?

*Monsanto is getting approval for GM sweet corn.  I've also heard talk about genetically modifying apples so they don't turn brown, chocolate, bananas, I'm sure there's more.  

                                                         An anti-Monsanto crop circle in the Phillipines. 
                 
                                                     http://www.vanityfair.com/dam/politics/2008/05/poar03_monsanto0805.jpg   

Children and GMOs
Children are at the greatest risk.  They are more sensitive to GMOs because of their smaller body mass, higher metabolic rates and growing rates-therefore needing more food/nutrition, and they are more sensitive to toxins since they are not completely developed in certain areas and their immune system is not prepared for it. Children are likely to be exposed through many of their favorite foods: conventional cereals, snack bars, cookies, candy, sweet drinks, cold cuts, (processed) fruit snacks, crackers contain large amounts of these high risk ingredients.

Avoiding GMOs
1. buy/grow/raise organic foods/animals
2.Avoid the at risk ingredients all together
3.Read labels. Buy non GMO products.  (Currently the FDA does not require labeling of any GM ingredients.  However, The Institute for Responsible Technology has partnered with the Non-GMO Project  in labeling products that are GMO free.  Look for the Non-GMO Project Verified seal which certifies ingredients in a product have been tested.  They are a non profit, 3rd party verifier that backs up the claims the companies make about their products.  Check out their:
-website: nongmoshoppingguide.com
- free i-phone app: Shop No-GMO,
- booklet (available at their website and other locations)

Don't Give Up
There's still a chance for us to say goodbye to GMOs.  If more people are informed and reject GE foods, the U.S. can be like the more than 50 countries that allow labeling of GE foods.  In the European Union where labeling is required, there is almost no GM food in the stores, restaurants or in their fields. (Genetic Roulette: The Gamble of Our Lives)   (note above how the US has lost a significant amount of exports to the EU).  There is a California (Nov) 2012 ballot to label GM food and there have been bills introduced in 19 states to label.  Watch this short video about proposition 37-the video Monsanto doesn't want you to see.   According to Urban Garden Magazine.com, most consumers say they would avoid GMO brands if given a choice once they realize the dangers of GM foods. (source)  There is hope.  If food companies see that GM ingredients are a sales liability they will be removed.  It is said that even if a small percentage of US consumers started avoiding GM brands, the millions of lost sales can force brands to remove GM ingredients.

Join the over 1.2 million people and sign this petition to the FDA, telling them we have a right to know what is being put into our food!

Coming Soon  

My GMO Story and Tips for Going GMO Free.  Stay posted!

I'd be happy to (try to) answer any questions you may have and would like requests for additional discussions on this topic!

Sources:
http://www.aaemonline.org/gmopost.html
http://archive.truthout.org/haitian-farmers-commit-burning-monsanto-hybrid-seeds59616
http://www.chrgj.org/publications/docs/every30min.pdf

http://www.ehow.com/about_6797745_toxicity-roundup-weed-killer.html

http://www.ehow.com/info_8582729_dangers-using-roundup.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_R._Taylor

Genetic Roulette: The Gamble of Our Lives. Prod. Jeffrey M. Smith. 2012 Online video.  Assessed on 15 Oct. 2012.   http://geneticroulettemovie.com/

http://gmo-journal.com/2011/06/17/loss-of-biodiversity-and-genetically-modified-crops/

http://www.gmwatch.org/gm-firms/10558-the-worlds-top-ten-seed-companies-who-owns-nature

http://justfood.org/food-justice/understanding-terms

http://www.monsanto.com/food-inc/Pages/seed-saving-and-legal-activities.aspx

http://www.monsanto.com/newsviews/pages/food-labeling.aspx
http://www.monsanto.com/whoweare/Pages/default.aspx
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Sustainable-Farming/Roundup-Weed-Killer-Toxicity.aspx
http://www.motherjones.com/tom-philpott/2012/07/usda-prepares-ground-dows-herbicide-sucking-crops
http://www.naturalnews.com/034847_Michael_Taylor_Monsanto_FDA.html
http://www.nongmoproject.org/consumers
http://www.organicitsworthit.org/quick/gmos-101

http://www.organicvalley.coop/why-organic/gmos/prop-37/

http://responsibletechnology.org/gmo-basics/the-ge-process

http://responsibletechnology.org/10-Reasons-to-Avoid-GMOs
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0278691512005637

http://urbangardenmagazine.com/2009/11/the-big-gmo-cover-up/2 http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2008/05/monsanto200805

Wallace, Rich.  "GMO Update: Consumer Consciousness of the Rise." Taste for Life Oct. 2012: 22.  

Tortillas, Tigers, and Terrible Twos

Our preschool curriculum is here!  Dominic had been waiting and begging me to begin his "schoolwork" as he calls it.  When it arrived he was all grins and was soooo excited as his pastime as of late has been coloring, painting, drawing, and asking how anything and everything is spelled.

Here he (they) are with the newly arrived materials.  

So my first year of back to teaching has begun. At the start, homeschooling seemed much easier than the conventional/traditional schooling I previously taught within.   It was a little tough getting into a routine, but things seemed to be going swell until...  

... well, I think the picture says it all.  Joanna definitely needs attention, wants to do everything her big brother does, and did I mention potty training and terrible twos??  So not only is there prep work for a little preschooler, there's also the "Now what will I have Joanna do while Dominic does his schoolwork?" question.

We are getting ready for week 6 and Dominic is doing quite well mastering new skills and reviewing old ones. In fact, even before officially beginning he was writing his numbers and spelling things like Dad, Mom, additional names of family members, map, ball, zoo on every paper in sight.  In fact, the other day at a garage sale, he started writing his name on the lady's price notebook.  That kid!

For a preschooler, mastering eye/hand coordination, and learning the tripod grasp while writing is very important and meticulous.  He is such a perfectionist, however, that any little mess up is a HUGE deal to him. I decided that we needed to address this issue before it becomes a problem: 1. now in learning the basic skills of writing correctly  2. later in a classroom setting where he could fall behind if he's too worried about making mistakes or always fixing them which could distract from learning and 3. life in general-it's not perfect-some things you can change, others you have to 'Let go and Let God.'  So right now, we are working on approaching screw-ups in different ways.  Because children learn through many different senses, several times a week we practice writing numbers/letters in salt.  This has created a more relaxing approach to the issue-he has to "erase" to write a new letter/number/shape whether he messed up the previous one or not.  (toddler's love this too!)

    action shot

 At the time we first started using the salt technique, we were studying the letter T.  We used a tiger game to emphasize the /t/ sound.  The tiger purred when given a word that began with a T and growled when fed a word not begging with T.  (This was an entertaining game.)  
                                           

I also decided to make homemade tortillas that I had been wanting to do for quite some time.  Little did I know that this would turn into more than just learning the /t/ sound.  As you can see in the following picture, I had trouble rolling them into circles.
                                                   
                                                              First attempt at tortilla making

The perfect opportunity arrived to show him (as he was watching me roll them out and cook them)  that sometimes things don't turn out the way we want.  Some things take practice to master; others we have to accept that it will never be perfect.  We learn from our mistakes.  Another important thing I think we often forget in our daily lives- hardships, shortcomings, imperfections can be offered up in union with the sufferings of our Lord.  (Even failures have a bright side!)  Complaining, giving up, or throwing fits does not get us anywhere.  In fact, whether we are a child or not, it simply sets us back a step or two in one way or another.
                                              
                                                    I think my tortillas got a little better with practice.  
                                     
                                                                They were still roll able. . .   
                                     
                                                 . . .  and no one seemed to care as we chowed down our burritos! 


God gives us so many teaching opportunities-for ourselves and others-in our daily lives.  You are responsible for your actions or lack thereof.  You will be held accountable at the Last Judgement, not only for yourself  but you must also remember for those to whom you were given to teach and model a Christian life (homeschooling or not).  Your children do learn from you.  Let them learn the holy life from you- for if they are not molded by you, society will fashion them.

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 

courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; 

Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next.

Amen.

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your 

ways acknowledge him,and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

What I've Learned After Six Years of Marriage

So tomorrow's our anniversary.  Sixth, to be exact.  For those of you who know my husband, you can attest to the fact that if he's always picking on you, you know he likes you.  I seem to be no exception.  This morning he's chasing me around making comments about if we're going to make it to seven years.  In a warning tone, I told him, we haven't made it to six-yet.

Time sure has flown by, and yet, so much has happened in six years.  Life, no matter your vocation, is a journey of learning, growing, and changing.  So I decided to reflect on what I have learned, how I've grown and how I have changed or what I need to change.  

• Love is not a feeling, but a choice.  Love is not a means to anything, but something to be desired for itself and to be given freely for itself.  There has been many a day that I have not had that same romantic feeling like the day we met or the day we married.  What is left when the "honeymoon" feeling is over?    Love is a true act of the will.  
• Without God as number 1 in your life and relationship, there is no (true) love.
• It is not about equality or what you can do for me, but what can I do for you?  It is no longer "me", but "we".
• Watching my tongue!  Criticizing carefully and going the positive, encouraging route turns out so much better.  
• Respecting his authority and finding a greater love for his goodness and learning from it.        
• Love teaches humility. I most definitely have come to recognize my weaknesses, as I'm sure my husband has noticed them too.  Humility is more than just acknowledgement; it is relying on God to change.  Granting and asking for forgiveness takes humility also.       
• The beauty of children is the fruit of love.  

In marriage you learn alot about your spouse AND yourself.   It is however, a continuation of your past relationship.  It is so very important to grow in knowledge and care about someone in friendship first, then in a dating scene, and continue to learn and love during your engagement.  You find out his past, his present, and what he and you both together wish for the future.   You learn to love who he is.   Oh, you know, there is always that one annoying thing or something you wish you could change.   (I knew he put the toilet seat down, but I did not know that he left his clothes, hat, sunglasses, shoes, and phone, in any spot, corner, or open area that was available the second he was through with them.)  But, all in all, you love the way he is, and the way he walks, and the way he. . . . and you want your children to have those same traits.  BUT IF HE IS NOT SOMEONE YOU WISH TO MARRY AND SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH, YOU SHOULD NOT BE DATING!  For those preparing for marriage, practice real love NOW!  True love is based on sacrifice; it is a selfless giving up of oneself for the good of the other person.  If two people coming together cannot truly love now, how will they in marriage?  



Just this past weekend, I hosted a shower for my soon to be sister-in-law, Jackie.  My sister and I debated on what sort of a game to play, but found most of them to be too drawn out or just plain raunchy.  When we live in a society where half of marriages end in divorce, why promote it?  After a quick Google search, I found that the median length of first marriages that end in divorce is 7.8-7.9 years.  So what's the secret?  I obviously haven't reached that mark yet, but I do plan on going much, much longer than 7-8 years.  If I had just one piece of advice to give, I would say, first love God.  He will show you the rest.  Our society today claims love to be so many fluffed up things that it isn't.  It's really just lust in disguise.  Take a look at the cross.  There is nothing fluffed up about laying down one's life as a true act of love.  It most certainly didn't feel good.  It wasn't done because "everyone" was doing it.  It wasn't an attempt to control what we do.  It wasn't a selfish act of pleasure.  No, it was a selfless act for the good of each one of us.      

We are made to love, but often we find ourselves in the midst of failure (as we see it), despair, or pain.  We may turn to sinful pleasures to "fill" our emptiness and divert our attention from this void.  Unless we reach for God, acknowledging that we are made for much, much more, the devil has a hay day with our soul.  Only God can mend our souls and bring us true joy.   We must turn to Him at all moments in our life!

So in the end (to get back to my story), there was no game at the shower.  However, a heart was given to each guest as they arrived.  On it, they were to write words of wisdom for Jackie.  As she later read aloud the advice from family and friends, most of whom had been married for many more years than 7, I saw that these words were not only for her and my brother, but for each one of us, married or not.  How we love one another affects all of us.  I truly want the best for my brother and wife.  I truly want the best for them for their sake, but also for the sake of others.  (My children, for example, will truly benefit when their cousins are brought up in a REAL LOVEing home.)  


Here are some quotes on love that became part of the decor for the shower:

We love because He first loved us.  1John 4:19

To love another person is to see the face of God.  Victor Hugo-Les Miserables

Love, to be real, it must cost-it must hurt-it must empty us of self.  Bl. Mother Teresa of Calcutta

There is no place for selfishness-and no place for fear!  Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands.  Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice.  Pope John Paul II

Do everything you do for love, that way there are no little things.  Everything is big. 
Bl. Josemearia Escriva 

Have you ever wondered why some old married couples look alike?  I have always found this fascinating and I think St. Bernard has an interesting insight:  What we love, we grow to resemble.  St. Bernard of Clarivaux  When we truly love God, then our will is one with His will for us.

And one of my favorite quotes: To love is to will the good of another.  St. Thomas Aquinas

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails. 

1Cor 13:4-8 

This is the Day for St. Joseph Catholic School, Ost

 A little over 8 years ago, I had almost finished student teaching and was searching for a job at a small Catholic school.  I had completed one interview at Holy Rosary-Wea, a small school outside a suburb of KC, when my mom mentioned an ad in the Catholic Advance looking for teachers for the soon to be newly "re"converted Catholic school in St. Joe, Ost.  "No way!"  I told her.  I was NOT going to teach combined classes.  I applied anyways and a few weeks later, I was back home for the weekend for not one, not two, but 4 interviews!  My home parish, St. Patrick's, Kingman, Holy Name, Coffeyville, St. Peter's Shulte, and St. Joseph, Ost.  What a long weekend!  Here's a quick summary of my interviews:

St. Patrick's:  very odd- I don't think I had ever truly entered the principal's office before, but it would have been even more bizarre if it had been the same principal when I was there.  This turned out to be more of a practice interview because they didn't think they were in need of a teacher the following year.  She was helpful, because she was helping Mrs. Harmon (new principal at St. Joe, Ost) conduct her interviews.

Holy Name: I met Sr. Janice downtown Wichita at the Catholic School's Office.  I do not remember much of our interview, but that something just didn't "seem" right.  It was also pretty far away from home since I could save money living with my parents.

St. Peter's:   Interviewed twice: once with just the principal and once with the school council-awkward!  Needless to say, I was re-jected!

St. Joseph:  Last interview-I was tired, hot, had a sore throat (which was to become a theme here-every year I taught I would be close to hoarse the first week or two of school) and three of us were stuck in a tiny back room of the old convent with junk all around.  ( I am sure the clean-up process had begun and this was one of the only viable rooms to use).  However, the interview went amazingly well.  I remember Mrs. Harmon, looking at her notes and saying, "Wow, you just answered the next question."  I wasn't trying to be an overachiever, but I truly felt "at home."  Just like the Apostles in the upper room, I believe the Holy Spirit was at work in that tiny, crowded back room.  I'd say we all were comfortable, for even Fr. Eck sat in his chair, arms crossed and eyes closed.  (Someday, I'll ask him whether he was deep in prayer or deep asleep!)

I can easily say my whole St. Joe experience has been "letting go, and letting God."  I had two offers for a job and believe it or not I chose the "No way!"  school.  That first year of teaching was very demanding.  I spent very little time away from the classroom.  So sorry to say that the previous school had really slagged in their job and most students were a year or more behind.  A first year teacher has so very much to learn in general, not to mention at a new school, with all new first year faculty.  That first year, I can literally say I didn't "sit down."   Even my planning period was spent doing lesson plans and copies for a 5th grader with brain cancer (God rest his soul) because he couldn't come to school.  Again the Holy Spirit was at work, keeping me motivated and determined to work hard.  The students, parents, and parish also deserved much credit for their dedication and hard work to strive ever forward and put the school's new theme into action: An Old Tradition with a New Beginning.  Looking back, I can see that God was preparing me for my life now: a constantly learning, growing, and changing experience as a mom.  That's right- a mom.  Which brings me to another example of letting go and letting God.   About 6 weeks after resigning myself to looking for Mr. Right, Mr. Right did show up-a St. Joe native helping his dad coach the 6th through 8th grade basketball teams.  I taught two years as Miss Powell and the third year as Mrs. Clupny.  After the third year, I resigned to God's will yet again and stayed home with our first child that was due that October.

Today I definitely have a different "view" of St. Joseph Catholic School, Ost.  I'm no longer a part of the faculty, but I literally can see a lot of happenings from my front door (my husband and I bought my grandmother's house which sits only yards away from the school.)  My soon to be sister-in-law is currently a teacher there.  My oldest will be in Kindergarten in 2013. (see link below for a quick video snap of him-second 54).  And if progress stays on track, his class will be the first to have all the new additions  The parish recently received permission to begin building additional classrooms in order to divide the current combined classes to accommodate their growing attendance.  (See Channel 12 video clip here).   From my view, I still see dedicated faculty,students, parents, and a parish working hard for an important goal.  The school has had many achievements and honors these past eight years-both academic and spiritual- including one important award received this past year: the Governor's Award.   I only hope that St. Joseph will continue its "Old Tradition with a New Beginning" with God as its final goal, for the sake of my children and for all those who will attend or have attended this blessed school.  I hope that St. Joe will be a place they call home.  A place that will prepare them for life; a place where they can learn to let go of their will in order to do the will of God to prepare them for their future home: Heaven.

Under the Weight of the Wood

This is the third in a series of Lenten reflections.

Today is Good Friday.  It was this day that all humanity was restored to the divine life of Paradise.  For this reason it is "good."  But it is also a somber day.  Our redemption came at a great price: the life of Our Savior.  I am reminded of the song Lord, Let Me Walk by Jack Miffleton that we sang during Lent when I was in grade school.  (find  lyrics here)

How ironic is the refrain:  "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood."  By His death, we have new life!  Original sin no longer chains us down, but we are now able to live as we were intended before the Fall.  We normally think of death as an ending and therefore having no power, but Christ's death and Resurrection opened Heaven's gate for eternal life. We have the power to form our lives to grow in truth and holiness.  Paragraph 1733 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that "the more one does what is good, the freer one becomes. There is no true freedom except in the service of what is good and just. The choice to disobey and do evil is an abuse of freedom and leads to "the slavery of sin."

 Jesus told His Apostles, that "no one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."  (John 15:13)  Christ shows us our vocations as persons by giving Himself on the Cross.  He obeyed the will of the Father for our salvation, despite the sacrifice He knew it would be.  "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me: still, not my will but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)  Our Lord suffered and died of His own free will.  "I lay down my life that I may take it again.  No man taketh it away from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. . ."  (John 10:18)  He chose to suffer and die this ignominious death not only to show us the horror of sin, but to show His love for us.  Only by gazing at the cross, do we learn the divine lesson that the way of the Cross is the only way for victory over sin.

Likewise, Pope John Paul II says that "man finds himself only when he makes a sincere gift of himself to others."  (Pope John Paul II-Gaudium et Spes, 24)  [True] love is self-giving and for the good of the other person. Yes, our inclination to sin still remains, but Jesus gave us the map to Heaven.  "If any man wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me."  (Luke 9:23)  This is the only way to true love, the only way to true happiness, the only way to a reward in Heaven.  "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood." 

Behold, the wood of the cross, on which is hung our salvation.  O come, let us adore.  

The Lesson of Meekness

This is a second in a series of Lenten reflections.  Today I have chosen the first chapter of Bishop Fulton J. Sheen's book, The Cross and Beatitudes.  Each chapter looks at a beatitude given us by Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount as well as one of the last Seven Words of Jesus on the Cross. 

First Beatitude

 Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land.

First of the Seven Last Words of Jesus

 Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.  

After reading the two above phrases of Jesus and reflecting on them for only a short while, one can say they are not "of" this world.  It is hard to understand how a meek person can take possession of much of anything.  Or it is difficult to imagine forgiving ones persecutors while they are in the very act of killing you.  But in the light of knowing who we are and what we are made for, these are the very possessions (meekness and forgiveness) that are needed for our journey to Heaven.  Jesus taught and demonstrated these virtues to show us the path to Him. 

 Bishop Sheen explains the world as not blessing the meek, "but the vindictive; it praises not the one who turns the other cheek, but the one who renders evil for evil; it exalts not the humble, but the aggressive."  But meekness is not weakness.  It is not an easy going temperament or one who is easily submissive. "Meekness is", as Sheen writes, "self-possession.  That is why the reward of meekness is possession (of the earth)."

The dictionary defines meek as "showing patience and humility; gentle."  Jesus, like a silent lamb led to its slaughter, shows His greatest act of humility in His Passion.  He did not grant the taunting thief on His left the request to save them from their imminent deaths.  In fact, He accepted the will of His Father to save US from OUR sins while praying for the very ones who scourged, spit, mocked, crowned, and nailed Him to the cross.  Every time I sin, it is my nail that pierces His hands; His feet.  My pride slashes open the wounds of His back and drives deep the thorns upon His head.

Pride, considered the root of all sin, is an inordinate desire for our own excellence. We make ourselves the center of the universe, pushing God and His authority to the side or completely out the window.  St. Thomas wrote that "all sin proceeds from self-love for we never commit sin without coveting some gratification of self." The world tells us to please ourselves.  Christianity tells us to take up our cross and deny ourselves.  "We are to turn the world upside down", says Sheen.  Like Christ, "we are to pray for those who nail us to a cross.  We are to love our enemies, which means hating ourselves."

 For me, it's easy to find pride creeping into my life.  Recently when asked what I did for a living, I was referred to as "just a stay-at-home mom."  I emphasize "just" because that is the word I focused on.  A meek version of myself would have smiled (inside and out) in wholehearted agreement that being at home with my children is my job/vocation with everything it entails.  I would like, however, to give you a quick synopsis of what lingered in my head that day:

JUST a stay-at-home mom!?!  I'm sure there is some dignified title you could give me.  Can I just tell you what I've done today?  After getting the kids ready for the day and making breakfast, I made yogurt-from scratch, made pudding for dessert-from scratch, did the dishes, hung laundry on the line, cleaned and organized under the bathroom sink, and pulled weeds in the strawberries for an hour-all BEFORE lunch.  And the list goes on:   


alarm clock
pediatrician: took care of a teething toddler's sore behind
referee: separated 2 fighting siblings
teacher: taught review lesson on the seasons using the new leaves of the strawberries 
maid

I could go on, but eventually my conscience got the better of me and meekness peeked from behind the clouds of pride:

Mmm hmm.  And at what time did you get out of your pjs?  You didn't get morning prayers said with the kids and you spent too much time of Facebook.  Imagine the possibilities!  And don't forget in marriage you vowed to surrender your freedom to serve  this one person, to do what's best for your marriage and for the children that come from it.  You wanted, if God was willing, to JUST stay home with the children because you believed it was the best thing for them.  

 Bishop Sheen states that "the meek person is not one who refuses to fight, nor someone who will never become angry.  A meek person is someone who will never do one thing: he will never fight when his conceit is attacked, but only when a principle is at stake." No, there was no smack down, drag-out fight that day, but there definitely was something happening inside of me.  In that moment, I could have chosen to pray to know the difference as to whether I needed to mimic Jesus and ask the Father to forgive them or if it was something I should have stood up against and voiced the truth.  At that moment, my vocation or what I did for a living was not attacked; my pride was humbled and my ego challenged.  My life nor my liberty were at stake, just my self-esteem.  I could have been meek and therefore would have been in complete control (possession) of myself and my pride would not have run away with me.

No matter what our vocation in life may be, we are called to do our very best for God-even the smallest of things.  (It's hard to sin that way!)  When Michelangelo was spending a long time on a corner in the Sistine Chapel, the archbishop on the floor called up to him and asked, Why are you taking so much time up there?  Nobody is going to see it."  The artist replied, "God sees it."  Looking back, I can see God giving abundant opportunities to practice meekness.  Situations such as my experience are God's way of giving us a chance to grow in virtue.

In meekness and love, I can clean my child's face like Veronica wiped the face of Jesus.  In meekness, I can unite my sufferings with Jesus at the moment He was stripped of His garments when I am reminded of what I've had to give up for the sake of my vocation-a career, material possessions, recreation, hobbies, some friends, and time with other friends.  In meekness and love, I can stand by our Lord at the foot of the Cross like His Mother Mary, John and Mary Magdalene when times get tough and everyone else is no where to be seen.  Because God has given me the gift to stay at home and have such a close relationship with my family, I can better recognize their needs, desires, and struggles.  So like Simon of Cyrene, I can help one who is struggling with their Cross and carry it for a ways.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make our hearts like unto thine!

The Windows of Our Souls

This is a first in a series of Lenten reflections. 

Spring weather brings with it a desire for spring cleaning-at least for me.   This past Ash Wednesday was beautiful weather-near 70 degrees, soft breeze, and sunshine!  With laundry hanging on the line and the kids playing in the sandbox, I began cleaning my windows.  Having a big picture window that the kids look out of daily, I clean the inside of the windows several times during the winter.  My husband helps me clean both sides and screens usually twice a year-once in May or June before Joanna's birthday and again in September or October before Dominic's.  (My husband seems to think I planned the kids around window cleaning!)

Cleaning the outside of the windows by myself was a little out of the ordinary in the middle of February, but oh how it brought a sense of cleanliness and fulfillment!  It sure seems to make everything seen through them brighter and more beautiful!  It was  nice to have "squeezed" in another set of clean windows.  What an accomplishment!

I think we'd all agree that having freshly cleaned windows is a good thing.  Now imagine having clean windows year round! The same is true for our souls.  What an accomplishment to have gone to confession, be on good terms with God, and have a clean soul once more.  The Church asks that you go to the Sacrament of Confession at least once a year.  Fill us with a desire to strive to have our sins forgiven more often,  O Lord!   How about monthly?  Weekly?  Imagine having a clean soul year round!!

Now I can very well do the windows by myself, but let me tell you, its faster, easier, and much less dull to have assistance.  Just like my husband helps to take apart the windows, clean the screens, and put the windows back in while I wash and dry, so too I need a helper to show me ways to grow in love and detach myself from sin.  Maybe I need reassurance, spiritual direction, or a clearer vision of my faults/sins.  I may need someone to hold me accountable in order to keep me down the right path. 
Most importantly, I must remember that my spiritual  relationship with God takes two, me and God!  I had to rely on God to supply the good weather in order for me to be able to clean windows.  Have you ever tried washing a cold window?  It doesn't work.  So too, our soul's cleanliness relies on God to supply the grace needed to grow in virtue and oppose the vice that creeps into our lives.  We must pray, asking for that grace, fast and receive the sacraments which also gives us grace to maintain holiness.     

Let's do a little comparing.  The outside of the window represents the outside world.  My windows were covered in dust, bird poo, and other various unknowns.  Just like past generations, we live in a sinful culture.  Daily we are bombarded by spiritually dirty things.  We must be aware of evil from the world outside us as well as the devil himself.  Let's face it-we can't avoid temptations.  Most of us have vocations calling us to live in the world and are not summoned to be a hermit or nun behind closed doors. We must, however, avoid occasions of sin when possible.  Occasions of sin are innumerable and not the same for each person or circumstance.  Often we cannot avoid temptations, but we must prepare to meet it.  First, by prayer, but also by various forms of fasting in order to grow in self-denial.  (thank goodness for Lent!)  By turning our minds away from things we know give rise to temptation, we shall grow in holiness.   

Now let's examine the window screen.  From experience, screens can be pretty filthy.  It is exposed to the outside and is meant to keep the things you don't want in (debris, leaves, bugs, etc) out.  I see our conscience as the screen for our souls.  Venerable Louis of Granada in his book, The Sinner's Guide, says of this great gift we have been given by God:

 "God, who gives His creatures all that is necessary for their perfection, has planted the seed of virtue in the soul of man and has endowed him with a natural inclination for good and an instinctive hatred of evil.  This inclination can be weakened or perverted by a habit of vice, but it can never be totally destroyed.  He has placed in the center of our souls a guardian that never sleeps, a monitor that is never silent, a master that never ceases to guide and sustain us."    

God has given us His promise "this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days says the Lord.  I will place my law within them, and write it upon their hearts; I will be their God, and they shall be my people." (Jer 31:33)  We instinctively know right and wrong, and by doing the right, we shall know the peace and joy of a good conscience. 

The exact opposite is true when we sin.  "But conscience, which is a kind master to the just, becomes a scourge to the wicked."  (Ven. Louis of Granada)  St. Ambrose asks: "Is there any greater torment in this world than remorse for conscience?  Is it not a misery more to be feared than sickness, than exile, than loss of life or liberty?"  And the 17th chapter of Wisdom, verse 11 reads: "For wickedness, of its nature cowardly, testifies in its own condemnation, and because of a distressed conscience, always magnifies misfortunes."  We can all relate.  Like Adam and Eve we realize we are "naked, " but we cannot hide from Him nor our conscience for it is the voice of God written in our hearts. 

 It is possible for our conscience to err, through our own fault or not, but we must be on guard to never let this happen.  St. Paul tells us that the conscience of the Christian is a conscience whose rule and standard is the will of God.  Our conscience is an infallible guide of right conduct if we form it in Christ.  God has given us many gifts to foster    Form your conscience according to God's law: the Ten Commandments, Beatitudes, Sacraments, and the teachings of the Church to name a few.   

The following are the best means to cultivating and perfecting our consciences according to Fr. John Laux, M.A.  in his book, Catholic Morality that I found to be helpful:
1.  to practice truthfulness in word and deed
2. to repress those passions which tend to stifle the voice of conscience, especially pride and impurity
3. to examine our conscience every evening before retiring to rest
4. to go to confession frequently
5. to make a retreat from time to time

In Mark 7:21-23, Christ tells us from within our hearts "come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, and folly."  We can't blame the devil, or our world for our sinfulness.  We sin because we are sinners.  The world around us, the company we choose to keep, our daily circumstances may present occasions to act out sinful attitudes and immoral desires.  What is my sinful drive or impulse?  Just as I needed to wash the inside of my windows to get off sticky grime, fingerprints, and dust, so too must I search and clean the inside of my heart.  I must avoid all that is dangerous to my soul and cultivate a heart for God.  There is always room for growth in our spiritual journey.  Start today and remember always let your (well formed) conscience be your guide.  

 I count him braver who overcomes his desires than even he who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.  -Aristotle