Musings of a Mom: Toy Story 3/17/13

News Feed:  Habemus Papam!
For me, as I am sure for many of you who witnessed the white smoke and revealing of the Catholic Church's 265th successor to St. Peter, words cannot fully describe emotions.  From the moment he appeared on the balcony, I could see his newly chosen name shine forth-such simplicity in poise, gesture; such humility in praying first for Pope Benedict and then asking our prayers for him before blessing us.   This is exactly how I would envision St. Francis of Assisi standing there.

 And each day as I learn more about our Holy Father, I see hope for our future.  Jesus is speaking to him like he told St. Francis: "rebuild my Church."  Of course, being guided by the Holy Spirit, he will carry on the teachings of the Church, but in a way the Church hasn't seen for awhile.  I see change, but a change that is needed for the good of the "ordinary" person, both in the Church or those fallen away from it.  How I love the gifts of faith, theology and philosophy of his predecessors, but I believe Pope Francis will teach us how to live in such a way to avoid the great scandals, corruptions, and heinous crimes of our world today.  We do not have to have taken the vows of poverty to be poor in spirit as Jesus says in Matthew 13:44
(Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.)  To be poor in spirit, means nothing is more valuable than God; nothing will get in our way of knowing, loving, and serving Him.  By learning to love the poor and learning to live in poverty, we can be rich in God's gifts.  Being stripped of luxury helps us to see ourselves as we truly are and our neighbor as a child of God.   (please read Around the House section below for a more in depth reflection of being poor in spirit.)  

New Popes are like new children-before they are here you wonder how you could love them as much as the others, but when they finally come your heart overflows with love.  I've spent the past days falling in love again.  Thank you God for your Church and the leader you have chosen for us!

             
Cheering on Pope Francis with a "terrible towel" blessed by Pope John Paul II during his  1999 Papal visit to St. Louis

I'm Pondering: The 13th of March also marked the 34th birth/death anniversary of my big brother.  There have been many times that I've wished he was here for a shoulder to lean on and guidance in time of trial. I've asked myself why I had the weight of being the role model for 6 younger siblings; however there have been so many times that I have felt his intercessory prayers on my behalf.
Joanna and Tessa are lucky to have a big brother!

I'm Praying:  praying for my 2 Lenten souls-the 2 men discussed in my last Musings post and for Pope Francis

We're Praying:  Stations of the Cross (read my last post for 20% off Holy Heroes website)

I'm Reading: Victory Over Vice  by Archbishop Fulton Sheen (I could read this every Lent!)

Around the House:                                TOY STORY
Toys at our household have been "cleaned up" and organized.  Between being a busy mom, I've been working on this section.  Please note that all in red are my reflections after the election of Pope Francis.       
The house has seemed more cluttered due to the craziness a new baby brings to a household.  It gets crowded, unorganized, chaotic, and overwhelming.  Sometimes you wonder where all this stuff came from-and where your sanity (and patience, orderliness, etc) went to. Matthew Kelly states in Building Better Families, that "our lives are suffering from modern complexity.  We never get enough of what we don't really need."

It's true.  Today it seems that the more we have, the more we want.  We have to have the most, the best, the latest, or what our neighbor has.  Archbishop Sheen in his chapter on Gluttony in the aforementioned book, says this is a basic problem of life.  "Should the soul do what the body wants, or should the body do what the soul wants?  Each has its appetites, and each is imperious in the satisfaction of its wants.  If we please one, we displease the other, and vice versa.  Both of them cannot sit down together at the banquet of life.  The development of character depends on which hunger and thirst we cultivate"

 There's no better time than Lent to focus on "letting go and letting God."  Letting go of our desires -denying ourselves-purging- in order to grow spiritually and remember we depend on God.  Letting go of material goods (excess) so excuses "to have" aren't so inviting, but the invitation to let God into our soul is.  We must discipline ourselves to transform our whole person: body and soul to become more like Him.  "Becoming by grace what God is by nature" as St. Athanasius said.  

In a small house it's easy to get congested and in each other's way, but for me it makes purging easier. (Oh, yes, there are still times it's hard to let go.) There's a great sense of relief to see that pile to get rid of, to donate, or to trash. A burden is lifted for materialism weighs you down-your focus is not on God, but rather on stuff.   We need to get rid of excess, learn to say no, and simplify our lives.  The devil likes chaos and disharmony.  With all the toys, gadgets, media, and "stuff" we get caught up in-watching, listening, playing, attending to, etc, the devil can easily disguise himself and get into our lives.  Simplifying helps us to truly, honestly enjoy what and who God has created with order and true beauty so we can praise Him.

There's also no better time than Lent to teach these virtues to our children.   Dr. Raymond Guarendi, a Catholic clinical psychologist and author of Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime: The Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids, says that "materialism can be a forerunner to self-centeredness, endless demands, ingratitude, and boredom."  "I have seen," he says, "few children lacking for character because they lacked for material perks.  I have seen quite a few who lacked for it because they were indulged."

Toys are meant to be fun for children.  Playing is their work-this is how they learn.  Mary Reed Newland says "there are two kinds of things a child learns from play: the character things and the joy things.. . joy is a reflection of our Father who is in Heaven.  Early childhood is the time to connect play with God and the joy of eternity." 

 Learning who they are as God made them should begin at a very early age.  It is so important for you to nurture their inherent qualities.  Girls act like ladies, are modest, nurturing, open to all that is good and holy, and recognize goodness.  Toys that encourage all things girl are important like kitchen sets or dolls or dressing like a princess.  Boys respect others, are honorable, disciplined, and trustworthy.  They are protectors of all that is right and good.  Boys like toys with wheels, fixing things, and slaying the dragon! (Don't get me wrong- tractors and trucks can be good for girls and boys ARE allowed in the kitchen!)
Each family and individual is unique and has its own gifts and personalities that must also be fostered.  Some may be musically or artistically inclined while others prefer the competition of playing ball or games.  Others prefer hands on approach and might favor science kits or want to be just like daddy and play with the farming set.  

Toys are fun for adults too-don't we normally give a gift not because we have to, but because we love to see their faces light up and the joy they have in playing with them?  To a point, there is nothing wrong with this.  However, many toys quickly lose their luster.  Kids become bored, want what other kids have and like us, become overwhelmed with "stuff".  The trend at our household is that the kids always play with or do not tire easily of the traditional toys.  It is funny how they will turn to those things they relate to best.  These are the things that have been around for generations and in fact, items I'm sure our grandchild will play with.

lessons purging toys can teach

1.appreciation/gratefulness for what they do have
2.generosity-sharing with others (giving is better than receiving)
3.God can never be outdone in generosity-We had a good example of this last week.  As I was working on this post, Tessa won a raffle basket at our parish/school's dinner.  The kids were excited to receive a storage box with dress up costumes, accessories, and other pretend play items. 
4.responsibility-a say in what to keep or not to keep, but also help in organizing and clean up
5. moderation
6.  simplicity-"Unless you become like little children, you shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven."  Matthew 18:3   Children too, must learn to have a relationship with others, ultimately Christ, and not be attached to earthly things.

My St. Francis statue, once on my bookshelf, now stands on my china hutch.  It's a good visual reminder of simplicity and not complicating things that I can see each time I enter my kitchen.  I bought this while in Assisi in 2003.   

 "rules" I've used while purging

1. Trash/Recycle
*broken*dangerous*not working properly*missing pieces

2. Donate/Get rid of if  prayerfully reflect on who is most in need or who would most benefit from those things you are no longer keeping 
*toys haven't been played with for quite some time or child doesn't 
remember the toy exists 
*you have 5 gazillion and you really only need 1 or 2
*toys that make more clutter than it's worth-Do I want to pick this up everyday?  Do they really play with this?  

3. Reconsider
*toys that cost more in the long run  e.g. battery operated toys or toys that parts are not included or have to buy more when they run out
*toys that may be dangerous; especially those a small child may put in his/her mouth
            -plastic toys may contain dangerous chemicals such as the estrogen mimicking/hormone disruptor BPA or it's equally dangerous sister BPS
         -polyvinyl chloride (PVC): chemical plasticizer that leach, flake, or off-gas over time which can cause risks from asthma to cancer.  It is known that those toys containing PVC which are sucked on cause damage to the brain, liver, and kidneys.   
         -pthalates is another chemical used to make toys flexible that are endoctrine disruptors 
*toys may also contain such chemicals lead-toys that limit a child's imagination or cognitive skills-my motto is "the more    a toy does, the less the child thinks"
Mary Reed Newland in her book, How to Raise Good Catholic Children says of play:" Play relates to the whole child, his whole body, all his members, his senses, his imagination, his will, and in his joy after happy play or his discontent after the unhappy, it touches his soul."

  

Staying organized aka: sane

1. Everything has its place (and no, it isn't always where it's supposed to be, but it helps!)
*label if necessary
*store in an appropriate accessible, logical place
*don't expect kids to know-give them a "tour" and simple reminders where toys belong when picking up

2. Schedule a "pick up" time each day
*ours is before Daddy comes home  (most days-3 times a week counts right??  At least it helps!!)
*any teacher knows that routines are essential to maintain classroom discipline-there is no true learning when the environment is chaotic

3. Help (younger children) pick up
*usually gets the job done faster
*can turn it into a fun game
*they aren't as likely to give excuses like " I didn't get this toy out"  OR "I didn't make this mess"
*easier to give reminders of where toys belong 
*model helping our neighbor 

4.  Put Away in Storage
*consider age and level of maturity; some toys are not age appropriate (e.g. baby toys are away in container until needed so they don't become unnecessary clutter)  
*rotate toys if needed (switch toys out every so often so they are like "new" toys)

5. Stick to your guns
*go through toys every so often, remembering your own rules
*remember your rules and motto when purchasing toys
*just because other kids have it doesn't mean yours needs it
                -opportunity cost: (a great way to teach economics and sacrificing all in one) sometimes figuring out how many hours dad has to work to get this toy or if your family does allowances, how many hours this toy equals
*softness can be a form of sloth (laziness) 

Wow!  I could/should have done a whole post just on toys!

In the Kitchen:
-Homemade Chicken Broth: 4 quarts to freeze plus more used for Italian Lentil Soup. I think I'll be set for a month or so before needing to make more!
-Homemade Vanilla: First attempt at this; takes around 6 weeks before ready to use.  Can't wait! Nothing beats the smell of REAL vanilla!
-Interesting!  I've never cooked with beer before and I've used my husband's home brew in two different recipes this week!

Most Important Tasks: 
-write letter to Grandma

I'm Working On: cleaning my closet

The Kids:

Dominic:  Kindergarten screening was canceled because of the snow and he was quite disappointed.  He finally was able to "go" to school and again is a little disappointed that he can't keep going back. Only a few more months-he thinks he's ready and I couldn't agree more!
 He's been listening to his Gingerbread Boy and Other First Tales he got for Christmas.  He likes the story of The Little Red Hen the best and will repeat it for you.  I need to have him make his own storybook for it-he loves to draw!   

Joanna: loves dressing up both in the 'costumes' box and out of her own drawers.  It seems she changes multiple times a day.  Her "shopping" outfits, as she calls them, sometimes get pretty interesting!
She is so proud of the castles she's been building.   The colors of the rooftops have to match the columns!

Tessa:  2 months!!  It's so funny what little ones will do to get attention.  She is in the fake coughing stage.  It seems to work-  someone will always go talk to her or pick her up!  It makes her so happy to be talked to-she smiles and coos back at you.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!  We are having shepherd's pie and blarney stones to celebrate this saint of Ireland and our possible Irish heritage. . . that's another story!

Under the Weight of the Wood

This is the third in a series of Lenten reflections.

Today is Good Friday.  It was this day that all humanity was restored to the divine life of Paradise.  For this reason it is "good."  But it is also a somber day.  Our redemption came at a great price: the life of Our Savior.  I am reminded of the song Lord, Let Me Walk by Jack Miffleton that we sang during Lent when I was in grade school.  (find  lyrics here)

How ironic is the refrain:  "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood."  By His death, we have new life!  Original sin no longer chains us down, but we are now able to live as we were intended before the Fall.  We normally think of death as an ending and therefore having no power, but Christ's death and Resurrection opened Heaven's gate for eternal life. We have the power to form our lives to grow in truth and holiness.  Paragraph 1733 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that "the more one does what is good, the freer one becomes. There is no true freedom except in the service of what is good and just. The choice to disobey and do evil is an abuse of freedom and leads to "the slavery of sin."

 Jesus told His Apostles, that "no one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends."  (John 15:13)  Christ shows us our vocations as persons by giving Himself on the Cross.  He obeyed the will of the Father for our salvation, despite the sacrifice He knew it would be.  "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me: still, not my will but yours be done." (Luke 22:42)  Our Lord suffered and died of His own free will.  "I lay down my life that I may take it again.  No man taketh it away from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. . ."  (John 10:18)  He chose to suffer and die this ignominious death not only to show us the horror of sin, but to show His love for us.  Only by gazing at the cross, do we learn the divine lesson that the way of the Cross is the only way for victory over sin.

Likewise, Pope John Paul II says that "man finds himself only when he makes a sincere gift of himself to others."  (Pope John Paul II-Gaudium et Spes, 24)  [True] love is self-giving and for the good of the other person. Yes, our inclination to sin still remains, but Jesus gave us the map to Heaven.  "If any man wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me."  (Luke 9:23)  This is the only way to true love, the only way to true happiness, the only way to a reward in Heaven.  "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood." 

Behold, the wood of the cross, on which is hung our salvation.  O come, let us adore.  

The Lesson of Meekness

This is a second in a series of Lenten reflections.  Today I have chosen the first chapter of Bishop Fulton J. Sheen's book, The Cross and Beatitudes.  Each chapter looks at a beatitude given us by Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount as well as one of the last Seven Words of Jesus on the Cross. 

First Beatitude

 Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land.

First of the Seven Last Words of Jesus

 Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.  

After reading the two above phrases of Jesus and reflecting on them for only a short while, one can say they are not "of" this world.  It is hard to understand how a meek person can take possession of much of anything.  Or it is difficult to imagine forgiving ones persecutors while they are in the very act of killing you.  But in the light of knowing who we are and what we are made for, these are the very possessions (meekness and forgiveness) that are needed for our journey to Heaven.  Jesus taught and demonstrated these virtues to show us the path to Him. 

 Bishop Sheen explains the world as not blessing the meek, "but the vindictive; it praises not the one who turns the other cheek, but the one who renders evil for evil; it exalts not the humble, but the aggressive."  But meekness is not weakness.  It is not an easy going temperament or one who is easily submissive. "Meekness is", as Sheen writes, "self-possession.  That is why the reward of meekness is possession (of the earth)."

The dictionary defines meek as "showing patience and humility; gentle."  Jesus, like a silent lamb led to its slaughter, shows His greatest act of humility in His Passion.  He did not grant the taunting thief on His left the request to save them from their imminent deaths.  In fact, He accepted the will of His Father to save US from OUR sins while praying for the very ones who scourged, spit, mocked, crowned, and nailed Him to the cross.  Every time I sin, it is my nail that pierces His hands; His feet.  My pride slashes open the wounds of His back and drives deep the thorns upon His head.

Pride, considered the root of all sin, is an inordinate desire for our own excellence. We make ourselves the center of the universe, pushing God and His authority to the side or completely out the window.  St. Thomas wrote that "all sin proceeds from self-love for we never commit sin without coveting some gratification of self." The world tells us to please ourselves.  Christianity tells us to take up our cross and deny ourselves.  "We are to turn the world upside down", says Sheen.  Like Christ, "we are to pray for those who nail us to a cross.  We are to love our enemies, which means hating ourselves."

 For me, it's easy to find pride creeping into my life.  Recently when asked what I did for a living, I was referred to as "just a stay-at-home mom."  I emphasize "just" because that is the word I focused on.  A meek version of myself would have smiled (inside and out) in wholehearted agreement that being at home with my children is my job/vocation with everything it entails.  I would like, however, to give you a quick synopsis of what lingered in my head that day:

JUST a stay-at-home mom!?!  I'm sure there is some dignified title you could give me.  Can I just tell you what I've done today?  After getting the kids ready for the day and making breakfast, I made yogurt-from scratch, made pudding for dessert-from scratch, did the dishes, hung laundry on the line, cleaned and organized under the bathroom sink, and pulled weeds in the strawberries for an hour-all BEFORE lunch.  And the list goes on:   


alarm clock
pediatrician: took care of a teething toddler's sore behind
referee: separated 2 fighting siblings
teacher: taught review lesson on the seasons using the new leaves of the strawberries 
maid

I could go on, but eventually my conscience got the better of me and meekness peeked from behind the clouds of pride:

Mmm hmm.  And at what time did you get out of your pjs?  You didn't get morning prayers said with the kids and you spent too much time of Facebook.  Imagine the possibilities!  And don't forget in marriage you vowed to surrender your freedom to serve  this one person, to do what's best for your marriage and for the children that come from it.  You wanted, if God was willing, to JUST stay home with the children because you believed it was the best thing for them.  

 Bishop Sheen states that "the meek person is not one who refuses to fight, nor someone who will never become angry.  A meek person is someone who will never do one thing: he will never fight when his conceit is attacked, but only when a principle is at stake." No, there was no smack down, drag-out fight that day, but there definitely was something happening inside of me.  In that moment, I could have chosen to pray to know the difference as to whether I needed to mimic Jesus and ask the Father to forgive them or if it was something I should have stood up against and voiced the truth.  At that moment, my vocation or what I did for a living was not attacked; my pride was humbled and my ego challenged.  My life nor my liberty were at stake, just my self-esteem.  I could have been meek and therefore would have been in complete control (possession) of myself and my pride would not have run away with me.

No matter what our vocation in life may be, we are called to do our very best for God-even the smallest of things.  (It's hard to sin that way!)  When Michelangelo was spending a long time on a corner in the Sistine Chapel, the archbishop on the floor called up to him and asked, Why are you taking so much time up there?  Nobody is going to see it."  The artist replied, "God sees it."  Looking back, I can see God giving abundant opportunities to practice meekness.  Situations such as my experience are God's way of giving us a chance to grow in virtue.

In meekness and love, I can clean my child's face like Veronica wiped the face of Jesus.  In meekness, I can unite my sufferings with Jesus at the moment He was stripped of His garments when I am reminded of what I've had to give up for the sake of my vocation-a career, material possessions, recreation, hobbies, some friends, and time with other friends.  In meekness and love, I can stand by our Lord at the foot of the Cross like His Mother Mary, John and Mary Magdalene when times get tough and everyone else is no where to be seen.  Because God has given me the gift to stay at home and have such a close relationship with my family, I can better recognize their needs, desires, and struggles.  So like Simon of Cyrene, I can help one who is struggling with their Cross and carry it for a ways.

Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make our hearts like unto thine!

The Windows of Our Souls

This is a first in a series of Lenten reflections. 

Spring weather brings with it a desire for spring cleaning-at least for me.   This past Ash Wednesday was beautiful weather-near 70 degrees, soft breeze, and sunshine!  With laundry hanging on the line and the kids playing in the sandbox, I began cleaning my windows.  Having a big picture window that the kids look out of daily, I clean the inside of the windows several times during the winter.  My husband helps me clean both sides and screens usually twice a year-once in May or June before Joanna's birthday and again in September or October before Dominic's.  (My husband seems to think I planned the kids around window cleaning!)

Cleaning the outside of the windows by myself was a little out of the ordinary in the middle of February, but oh how it brought a sense of cleanliness and fulfillment!  It sure seems to make everything seen through them brighter and more beautiful!  It was  nice to have "squeezed" in another set of clean windows.  What an accomplishment!

I think we'd all agree that having freshly cleaned windows is a good thing.  Now imagine having clean windows year round! The same is true for our souls.  What an accomplishment to have gone to confession, be on good terms with God, and have a clean soul once more.  The Church asks that you go to the Sacrament of Confession at least once a year.  Fill us with a desire to strive to have our sins forgiven more often,  O Lord!   How about monthly?  Weekly?  Imagine having a clean soul year round!!

Now I can very well do the windows by myself, but let me tell you, its faster, easier, and much less dull to have assistance.  Just like my husband helps to take apart the windows, clean the screens, and put the windows back in while I wash and dry, so too I need a helper to show me ways to grow in love and detach myself from sin.  Maybe I need reassurance, spiritual direction, or a clearer vision of my faults/sins.  I may need someone to hold me accountable in order to keep me down the right path. 
Most importantly, I must remember that my spiritual  relationship with God takes two, me and God!  I had to rely on God to supply the good weather in order for me to be able to clean windows.  Have you ever tried washing a cold window?  It doesn't work.  So too, our soul's cleanliness relies on God to supply the grace needed to grow in virtue and oppose the vice that creeps into our lives.  We must pray, asking for that grace, fast and receive the sacraments which also gives us grace to maintain holiness.     

Let's do a little comparing.  The outside of the window represents the outside world.  My windows were covered in dust, bird poo, and other various unknowns.  Just like past generations, we live in a sinful culture.  Daily we are bombarded by spiritually dirty things.  We must be aware of evil from the world outside us as well as the devil himself.  Let's face it-we can't avoid temptations.  Most of us have vocations calling us to live in the world and are not summoned to be a hermit or nun behind closed doors. We must, however, avoid occasions of sin when possible.  Occasions of sin are innumerable and not the same for each person or circumstance.  Often we cannot avoid temptations, but we must prepare to meet it.  First, by prayer, but also by various forms of fasting in order to grow in self-denial.  (thank goodness for Lent!)  By turning our minds away from things we know give rise to temptation, we shall grow in holiness.   

Now let's examine the window screen.  From experience, screens can be pretty filthy.  It is exposed to the outside and is meant to keep the things you don't want in (debris, leaves, bugs, etc) out.  I see our conscience as the screen for our souls.  Venerable Louis of Granada in his book, The Sinner's Guide, says of this great gift we have been given by God:

 "God, who gives His creatures all that is necessary for their perfection, has planted the seed of virtue in the soul of man and has endowed him with a natural inclination for good and an instinctive hatred of evil.  This inclination can be weakened or perverted by a habit of vice, but it can never be totally destroyed.  He has placed in the center of our souls a guardian that never sleeps, a monitor that is never silent, a master that never ceases to guide and sustain us."    

God has given us His promise "this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days says the Lord.  I will place my law within them, and write it upon their hearts; I will be their God, and they shall be my people." (Jer 31:33)  We instinctively know right and wrong, and by doing the right, we shall know the peace and joy of a good conscience. 

The exact opposite is true when we sin.  "But conscience, which is a kind master to the just, becomes a scourge to the wicked."  (Ven. Louis of Granada)  St. Ambrose asks: "Is there any greater torment in this world than remorse for conscience?  Is it not a misery more to be feared than sickness, than exile, than loss of life or liberty?"  And the 17th chapter of Wisdom, verse 11 reads: "For wickedness, of its nature cowardly, testifies in its own condemnation, and because of a distressed conscience, always magnifies misfortunes."  We can all relate.  Like Adam and Eve we realize we are "naked, " but we cannot hide from Him nor our conscience for it is the voice of God written in our hearts. 

 It is possible for our conscience to err, through our own fault or not, but we must be on guard to never let this happen.  St. Paul tells us that the conscience of the Christian is a conscience whose rule and standard is the will of God.  Our conscience is an infallible guide of right conduct if we form it in Christ.  God has given us many gifts to foster    Form your conscience according to God's law: the Ten Commandments, Beatitudes, Sacraments, and the teachings of the Church to name a few.   

The following are the best means to cultivating and perfecting our consciences according to Fr. John Laux, M.A.  in his book, Catholic Morality that I found to be helpful:
1.  to practice truthfulness in word and deed
2. to repress those passions which tend to stifle the voice of conscience, especially pride and impurity
3. to examine our conscience every evening before retiring to rest
4. to go to confession frequently
5. to make a retreat from time to time

In Mark 7:21-23, Christ tells us from within our hearts "come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, and folly."  We can't blame the devil, or our world for our sinfulness.  We sin because we are sinners.  The world around us, the company we choose to keep, our daily circumstances may present occasions to act out sinful attitudes and immoral desires.  What is my sinful drive or impulse?  Just as I needed to wash the inside of my windows to get off sticky grime, fingerprints, and dust, so too must I search and clean the inside of my heart.  I must avoid all that is dangerous to my soul and cultivate a heart for God.  There is always room for growth in our spiritual journey.  Start today and remember always let your (well formed) conscience be your guide.  

 I count him braver who overcomes his desires than even he who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self.  -Aristotle