A little over 8 years ago, I had almost finished student teaching and was searching for a job at a small Catholic school. I had completed one interview at Holy Rosary-Wea, a small school outside a suburb of KC, when my mom mentioned an ad in the Catholic Advance looking for teachers for the soon to be newly "re"converted Catholic school in St. Joe, Ost. "No way!" I told her. I was NOT going to teach combined classes. I applied anyways and a few weeks later, I was back home for the weekend for not one, not two, but 4 interviews! My home parish, St. Patrick's, Kingman, Holy Name, Coffeyville, St. Peter's Shulte, and St. Joseph, Ost. What a long weekend! Here's a quick summary of my interviews:
St. Patrick's: very odd- I don't think I had ever truly entered the principal's office before, but it would have been even more bizarre if it had been the same principal when I was there. This turned out to be more of a practice interview because they didn't think they were in need of a teacher the following year. She was helpful, because she was helping Mrs. Harmon (new principal at St. Joe, Ost) conduct her interviews.
Holy Name: I met Sr. Janice downtown Wichita at the Catholic School's Office. I do not remember much of our interview, but that something just didn't "seem" right. It was also pretty far away from home since I could save money living with my parents.
St. Peter's: Interviewed twice: once with just the principal and once with the school council-awkward! Needless to say, I was re-jected!
St. Joseph: Last interview-I was tired, hot, had a sore throat (which was to become a theme here-every year I taught I would be close to hoarse the first week or two of school) and three of us were stuck in a tiny back room of the old convent with junk all around. ( I am sure the clean-up process had begun and this was one of the only viable rooms to use). However, the interview went amazingly well. I remember Mrs. Harmon, looking at her notes and saying, "Wow, you just answered the next question." I wasn't trying to be an overachiever, but I truly felt "at home." Just like the Apostles in the upper room, I believe the Holy Spirit was at work in that tiny, crowded back room. I'd say we all were comfortable, for even Fr. Eck sat in his chair, arms crossed and eyes closed. (Someday, I'll ask him whether he was deep in prayer or deep asleep!)
I can easily say my whole St. Joe experience has been "letting go, and letting God." I had two offers for a job and believe it or not I chose the "No way!" school. That first year of teaching was very demanding. I spent very little time away from the classroom. So sorry to say that the previous school had really slagged in their job and most students were a year or more behind. A first year teacher has so very much to learn in general, not to mention at a new school, with all new first year faculty. That first year, I can literally say I didn't "sit down." Even my planning period was spent doing lesson plans and copies for a 5th grader with brain cancer (God rest his soul) because he couldn't come to school. Again the Holy Spirit was at work, keeping me motivated and determined to work hard. The students, parents, and parish also deserved much credit for their dedication and hard work to strive ever forward and put the school's new theme into action: An Old Tradition with a New Beginning. Looking back, I can see that God was preparing me for my life now: a constantly learning, growing, and changing experience as a mom. That's right- a mom. Which brings me to another example of letting go and letting God. About 6 weeks after resigning myself to looking for Mr. Right, Mr. Right did show up-a St. Joe native helping his dad coach the 6th through 8th grade basketball teams. I taught two years as Miss Powell and the third year as Mrs. Clupny. After the third year, I resigned to God's will yet again and stayed home with our first child that was due that October.
Today I definitely have a different "view" of St. Joseph Catholic School, Ost. I'm no longer a part of the faculty, but I literally can see a lot of happenings from my front door (my husband and I bought my grandmother's house which sits only yards away from the school.) My soon to be sister-in-law is currently a teacher there. My oldest will be in Kindergarten in 2013. (see link below for a quick video snap of him-second 54). And if progress stays on track, his class will be the first to have all the new additions The parish recently received permission to begin building additional classrooms in order to divide the current combined classes to accommodate their growing attendance. (See Channel 12 video clip here). From my view, I still see dedicated faculty,students, parents, and a parish working hard for an important goal. The school has had many achievements and honors these past eight years-both academic and spiritual- including one important award received this past year: the Governor's Award. I only hope that St. Joseph will continue its "Old Tradition with a New Beginning" with God as its final goal, for the sake of my children and for all those who will attend or have attended this blessed school. I hope that St. Joe will be a place they call home. A place that will prepare them for life; a place where they can learn to let go of their will in order to do the will of God to prepare them for their future home: Heaven.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Friday, April 6, 2012
Under the Weight of the Wood
This is the third in a series of Lenten reflections.
Today is Good Friday. It was this day that all humanity was restored to the divine life of Paradise. For this reason it is "good." But it is also a somber day. Our redemption came at a great price: the life of Our Savior. I am reminded of the song Lord, Let Me Walk by Jack Miffleton that we sang during Lent when I was in grade school. (find lyrics here)
How ironic is the refrain: "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood." By His death, we have new life! Original sin no longer chains us down, but we are now able to live as we were intended before the Fall. We normally think of death as an ending and therefore having no power, but Christ's death and Resurrection opened Heaven's gate for eternal life. We have the power to form our lives to grow in truth and holiness. Paragraph 1733 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that "the more one does what is good, the freer one becomes. There is no true freedom except in the service of what is good and just. The choice to disobey and do evil is an abuse of freedom and leads to "the slavery of sin."
Jesus told His Apostles, that "no one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13) Christ shows us our vocations as persons by giving Himself on the Cross. He obeyed the will of the Father for our salvation, despite the sacrifice He knew it would be. "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me: still, not my will but yours be done." (Luke 22:42) Our Lord suffered and died of His own free will. "I lay down my life that I may take it again. No man taketh it away from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. . ." (John 10:18) He chose to suffer and die this ignominious death not only to show us the horror of sin, but to show His love for us. Only by gazing at the cross, do we learn the divine lesson that the way of the Cross is the only way for victory over sin.
Likewise, Pope John Paul II says that "man finds himself only when he makes a sincere gift of himself to others." (Pope John Paul II-Gaudium et Spes, 24) [True] love is self-giving and for the good of the other person. Yes, our inclination to sin still remains, but Jesus gave us the map to Heaven. "If any man wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me." (Luke 9:23) This is the only way to true love, the only way to true happiness, the only way to a reward in Heaven. "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood."
Today is Good Friday. It was this day that all humanity was restored to the divine life of Paradise. For this reason it is "good." But it is also a somber day. Our redemption came at a great price: the life of Our Savior. I am reminded of the song Lord, Let Me Walk by Jack Miffleton that we sang during Lent when I was in grade school. (find lyrics here)
How ironic is the refrain: "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood." By His death, we have new life! Original sin no longer chains us down, but we are now able to live as we were intended before the Fall. We normally think of death as an ending and therefore having no power, but Christ's death and Resurrection opened Heaven's gate for eternal life. We have the power to form our lives to grow in truth and holiness. Paragraph 1733 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that "the more one does what is good, the freer one becomes. There is no true freedom except in the service of what is good and just. The choice to disobey and do evil is an abuse of freedom and leads to "the slavery of sin."
Jesus told His Apostles, that "no one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends." (John 15:13) Christ shows us our vocations as persons by giving Himself on the Cross. He obeyed the will of the Father for our salvation, despite the sacrifice He knew it would be. "Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me: still, not my will but yours be done." (Luke 22:42) Our Lord suffered and died of His own free will. "I lay down my life that I may take it again. No man taketh it away from Me, but I lay it down of Myself. . ." (John 10:18) He chose to suffer and die this ignominious death not only to show us the horror of sin, but to show His love for us. Only by gazing at the cross, do we learn the divine lesson that the way of the Cross is the only way for victory over sin.
Likewise, Pope John Paul II says that "man finds himself only when he makes a sincere gift of himself to others." (Pope John Paul II-Gaudium et Spes, 24) [True] love is self-giving and for the good of the other person. Yes, our inclination to sin still remains, but Jesus gave us the map to Heaven. "If any man wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Me." (Luke 9:23) This is the only way to true love, the only way to true happiness, the only way to a reward in Heaven. "Freedom can be found, laden down, under the weight of the wood."
Behold, the wood of the cross, on which is hung our salvation. O come, let us adore.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The Lesson of Meekness
This is a second in a series of Lenten reflections. Today I have chosen the first chapter of Bishop Fulton J. Sheen's book, The Cross and Beatitudes. Each chapter looks at a beatitude given us by Jesus on the Sermon on the Mount as well as one of the last Seven Words of Jesus on the Cross.
After reading the two above phrases of Jesus and reflecting on them for only a short while, one can say they are not "of" this world. It is hard to understand how a meek person can take possession of much of anything. Or it is difficult to imagine forgiving ones persecutors while they are in the very act of killing you. But in the light of knowing who we are and what we are made for, these are the very possessions (meekness and forgiveness) that are needed for our journey to Heaven. Jesus taught and demonstrated these virtues to show us the path to Him.
Bishop Sheen explains the world as not blessing the meek, "but the vindictive; it praises not the one who turns the other cheek, but the one who renders evil for evil; it exalts not the humble, but the aggressive." But meekness is not weakness. It is not an easy going temperament or one who is easily submissive. "Meekness is", as Sheen writes, "self-possession. That is why the reward of meekness is possession (of the earth)."
The dictionary defines meek as "showing patience and humility; gentle." Jesus, like a silent lamb led to its slaughter, shows His greatest act of humility in His Passion. He did not grant the taunting thief on His left the request to save them from their imminent deaths. In fact, He accepted the will of His Father to save US from OUR sins while praying for the very ones who scourged, spit, mocked, crowned, and nailed Him to the cross. Every time I sin, it is my nail that pierces His hands; His feet. My pride slashes open the wounds of His back and drives deep the thorns upon His head.
Pride, considered the root of all sin, is an inordinate desire for our own excellence. We make ourselves the center of the universe, pushing God and His authority to the side or completely out the window. St. Thomas wrote that "all sin proceeds from self-love for we never commit sin without coveting some gratification of self." The world tells us to please ourselves. Christianity tells us to take up our cross and deny ourselves. "We are to turn the world upside down", says Sheen. Like Christ, "we are to pray for those who nail us to a cross. We are to love our enemies, which means hating ourselves."
For me, it's easy to find pride creeping into my life. Recently when asked what I did for a living, I was referred to as "just a stay-at-home mom." I emphasize "just" because that is the word I focused on. A meek version of myself would have smiled (inside and out) in wholehearted agreement that being at home with my children is my job/vocation with everything it entails. I would like, however, to give you a quick synopsis of what lingered in my head that day:
JUST a stay-at-home mom!?! I'm sure there is some dignified title you could give me. Can I just tell you what I've done today? After getting the kids ready for the day and making breakfast, I made yogurt-from scratch, made pudding for dessert-from scratch, did the dishes, hung laundry on the line, cleaned and organized under the bathroom sink, and pulled weeds in the strawberries for an hour-all BEFORE lunch. And the list goes on:
alarm clock
pediatrician: took care of a teething toddler's sore behind
referee: separated 2 fighting siblings
teacher: taught review lesson on the seasons using the new leaves of the strawberries
maid
I could go on, but eventually my conscience got the better of me and meekness peeked from behind the clouds of pride:
Mmm hmm. And at what time did you get out of your pjs? You didn't get morning prayers said with the kids and you spent too much time of Facebook. Imagine the possibilities! And don't forget in marriage you vowed to surrender your freedom to serve this one person, to do what's best for your marriage and for the children that come from it. You wanted, if God was willing, to JUST stay home with the children because you believed it was the best thing for them.
Bishop Sheen states that "the meek person is not one who refuses to fight, nor someone who will never become angry. A meek person is someone who will never do one thing: he will never fight when his conceit is attacked, but only when a principle is at stake." No, there was no smack down, drag-out fight that day, but there definitely was something happening inside of me. In that moment, I could have chosen to pray to know the difference as to whether I needed to mimic Jesus and ask the Father to forgive them or if it was something I should have stood up against and voiced the truth. At that moment, my vocation or what I did for a living was not attacked; my pride was humbled and my ego challenged. My life nor my liberty were at stake, just my self-esteem. I could have been meek and therefore would have been in complete control (possession) of myself and my pride would not have run away with me.
No matter what our vocation in life may be, we are called to do our very best for God-even the smallest of things. (It's hard to sin that way!) When Michelangelo was spending a long time on a corner in the Sistine Chapel, the archbishop on the floor called up to him and asked, Why are you taking so much time up there? Nobody is going to see it." The artist replied, "God sees it." Looking back, I can see God giving abundant opportunities to practice meekness. Situations such as my experience are God's way of giving us a chance to grow in virtue.
In meekness and love, I can clean my child's face like Veronica wiped the face of Jesus. In meekness, I can unite my sufferings with Jesus at the moment He was stripped of His garments when I am reminded of what I've had to give up for the sake of my vocation-a career, material possessions, recreation, hobbies, some friends, and time with other friends. In meekness and love, I can stand by our Lord at the foot of the Cross like His Mother Mary, John and Mary Magdalene when times get tough and everyone else is no where to be seen. Because God has given me the gift to stay at home and have such a close relationship with my family, I can better recognize their needs, desires, and struggles. So like Simon of Cyrene, I can help one who is struggling with their Cross and carry it for a ways.
First Beatitude
Blessed are the meek: for they shall posses the land.
First of the Seven Last Words of Jesus
Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.
After reading the two above phrases of Jesus and reflecting on them for only a short while, one can say they are not "of" this world. It is hard to understand how a meek person can take possession of much of anything. Or it is difficult to imagine forgiving ones persecutors while they are in the very act of killing you. But in the light of knowing who we are and what we are made for, these are the very possessions (meekness and forgiveness) that are needed for our journey to Heaven. Jesus taught and demonstrated these virtues to show us the path to Him.
Bishop Sheen explains the world as not blessing the meek, "but the vindictive; it praises not the one who turns the other cheek, but the one who renders evil for evil; it exalts not the humble, but the aggressive." But meekness is not weakness. It is not an easy going temperament or one who is easily submissive. "Meekness is", as Sheen writes, "self-possession. That is why the reward of meekness is possession (of the earth)."
The dictionary defines meek as "showing patience and humility; gentle." Jesus, like a silent lamb led to its slaughter, shows His greatest act of humility in His Passion. He did not grant the taunting thief on His left the request to save them from their imminent deaths. In fact, He accepted the will of His Father to save US from OUR sins while praying for the very ones who scourged, spit, mocked, crowned, and nailed Him to the cross. Every time I sin, it is my nail that pierces His hands; His feet. My pride slashes open the wounds of His back and drives deep the thorns upon His head.
Pride, considered the root of all sin, is an inordinate desire for our own excellence. We make ourselves the center of the universe, pushing God and His authority to the side or completely out the window. St. Thomas wrote that "all sin proceeds from self-love for we never commit sin without coveting some gratification of self." The world tells us to please ourselves. Christianity tells us to take up our cross and deny ourselves. "We are to turn the world upside down", says Sheen. Like Christ, "we are to pray for those who nail us to a cross. We are to love our enemies, which means hating ourselves."
For me, it's easy to find pride creeping into my life. Recently when asked what I did for a living, I was referred to as "just a stay-at-home mom." I emphasize "just" because that is the word I focused on. A meek version of myself would have smiled (inside and out) in wholehearted agreement that being at home with my children is my job/vocation with everything it entails. I would like, however, to give you a quick synopsis of what lingered in my head that day:
JUST a stay-at-home mom!?! I'm sure there is some dignified title you could give me. Can I just tell you what I've done today? After getting the kids ready for the day and making breakfast, I made yogurt-from scratch, made pudding for dessert-from scratch, did the dishes, hung laundry on the line, cleaned and organized under the bathroom sink, and pulled weeds in the strawberries for an hour-all BEFORE lunch. And the list goes on:
alarm clock
pediatrician: took care of a teething toddler's sore behind
referee: separated 2 fighting siblings
teacher: taught review lesson on the seasons using the new leaves of the strawberries
maid
I could go on, but eventually my conscience got the better of me and meekness peeked from behind the clouds of pride:
Mmm hmm. And at what time did you get out of your pjs? You didn't get morning prayers said with the kids and you spent too much time of Facebook. Imagine the possibilities! And don't forget in marriage you vowed to surrender your freedom to serve this one person, to do what's best for your marriage and for the children that come from it. You wanted, if God was willing, to JUST stay home with the children because you believed it was the best thing for them.
Bishop Sheen states that "the meek person is not one who refuses to fight, nor someone who will never become angry. A meek person is someone who will never do one thing: he will never fight when his conceit is attacked, but only when a principle is at stake." No, there was no smack down, drag-out fight that day, but there definitely was something happening inside of me. In that moment, I could have chosen to pray to know the difference as to whether I needed to mimic Jesus and ask the Father to forgive them or if it was something I should have stood up against and voiced the truth. At that moment, my vocation or what I did for a living was not attacked; my pride was humbled and my ego challenged. My life nor my liberty were at stake, just my self-esteem. I could have been meek and therefore would have been in complete control (possession) of myself and my pride would not have run away with me.
No matter what our vocation in life may be, we are called to do our very best for God-even the smallest of things. (It's hard to sin that way!) When Michelangelo was spending a long time on a corner in the Sistine Chapel, the archbishop on the floor called up to him and asked, Why are you taking so much time up there? Nobody is going to see it." The artist replied, "God sees it." Looking back, I can see God giving abundant opportunities to practice meekness. Situations such as my experience are God's way of giving us a chance to grow in virtue.
In meekness and love, I can clean my child's face like Veronica wiped the face of Jesus. In meekness, I can unite my sufferings with Jesus at the moment He was stripped of His garments when I am reminded of what I've had to give up for the sake of my vocation-a career, material possessions, recreation, hobbies, some friends, and time with other friends. In meekness and love, I can stand by our Lord at the foot of the Cross like His Mother Mary, John and Mary Magdalene when times get tough and everyone else is no where to be seen. Because God has given me the gift to stay at home and have such a close relationship with my family, I can better recognize their needs, desires, and struggles. So like Simon of Cyrene, I can help one who is struggling with their Cross and carry it for a ways.
Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make our hearts like unto thine!
Saturday, March 3, 2012
The Windows of Our Souls
This is a first in a series of Lenten reflections.
Spring weather brings with it a desire for spring cleaning-at least for me. This past Ash Wednesday was beautiful weather-near 70 degrees, soft breeze, and sunshine! With laundry hanging on the line and the kids playing in the sandbox, I began cleaning my windows. Having a big picture window that the kids look out of daily, I clean the inside of the windows several times during the winter. My husband helps me clean both sides and screens usually twice a year-once in May or June before Joanna's birthday and again in September or October before Dominic's. (My husband seems to think I planned the kids around window cleaning!)
Cleaning the outside of the windows by myself was a little out of the ordinary in the middle of February, but oh how it brought a sense of cleanliness and fulfillment! It sure seems to make everything seen through them brighter and more beautiful! It was nice to have "squeezed" in another set of clean windows. What an accomplishment!
I think we'd all agree that having freshly cleaned windows is a good thing. Now imagine having clean windows year round! The same is true for our souls. What an accomplishment to have gone to confession, be on good terms with God, and have a clean soul once more. The Church asks that you go to the Sacrament of Confession at least once a year. Fill us with a desire to strive to have our sins forgiven more often, O Lord! How about monthly? Weekly? Imagine having a clean soul year round!!
Now I can very well do the windows by myself, but let me tell you, its faster, easier, and much less dull to have assistance. Just like my husband helps to take apart the windows, clean the screens, and put the windows back in while I wash and dry, so too I need a helper to show me ways to grow in love and detach myself from sin. Maybe I need reassurance, spiritual direction, or a clearer vision of my faults/sins. I may need someone to hold me accountable in order to keep me down the right path.
Most importantly, I must remember that my spiritual relationship with God takes two, me and God! I had to rely on God to supply the good weather in order for me to be able to clean windows. Have you ever tried washing a cold window? It doesn't work. So too, our soul's cleanliness relies on God to supply the grace needed to grow in virtue and oppose the vice that creeps into our lives. We must pray, asking for that grace, fast and receive the sacraments which also gives us grace to maintain holiness.
Let's do a little comparing. The outside of the window represents the outside world. My windows were covered in dust, bird poo, and other various unknowns. Just like past generations, we live in a sinful culture. Daily we are bombarded by spiritually dirty things. We must be aware of evil from the world outside us as well as the devil himself. Let's face it-we can't avoid temptations. Most of us have vocations calling us to live in the world and are not summoned to be a hermit or nun behind closed doors. We must, however, avoid occasions of sin when possible. Occasions of sin are innumerable and not the same for each person or circumstance. Often we cannot avoid temptations, but we must prepare to meet it. First, by prayer, but also by various forms of fasting in order to grow in self-denial. (thank goodness for Lent!) By turning our minds away from things we know give rise to temptation, we shall grow in holiness.
Now let's examine the window screen. From experience, screens can be pretty filthy. It is exposed to the outside and is meant to keep the things you don't want in (debris, leaves, bugs, etc) out. I see our conscience as the screen for our souls. Venerable Louis of Granada in his book, The Sinner's Guide, says of this great gift we have been given by God:
The exact opposite is true when we sin. "But conscience, which is a kind master to the just, becomes a scourge to the wicked." (Ven. Louis of Granada) St. Ambrose asks: "Is there any greater torment in this world than remorse for conscience? Is it not a misery more to be feared than sickness, than exile, than loss of life or liberty?" And the 17th chapter of Wisdom, verse 11 reads: "For wickedness, of its nature cowardly, testifies in its own condemnation, and because of a distressed conscience, always magnifies misfortunes." We can all relate. Like Adam and Eve we realize we are "naked, " but we cannot hide from Him nor our conscience for it is the voice of God written in our hearts.
It is possible for our conscience to err, through our own fault or not, but we must be on guard to never let this happen. St. Paul tells us that the conscience of the Christian is a conscience whose rule and standard is the will of God. Our conscience is an infallible guide of right conduct if we form it in Christ. God has given us many gifts to foster Form your conscience according to God's law: the Ten Commandments, Beatitudes, Sacraments, and the teachings of the Church to name a few.
The following are the best means to cultivating and perfecting our consciences according to Fr. John Laux, M.A. in his book, Catholic Morality that I found to be helpful:
1. to practice truthfulness in word and deed
2. to repress those passions which tend to stifle the voice of conscience, especially pride and impurity
3. to examine our conscience every evening before retiring to rest
4. to go to confession frequently
5. to make a retreat from time to time
In Mark 7:21-23, Christ tells us from within our hearts "come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, and folly." We can't blame the devil, or our world for our sinfulness. We sin because we are sinners. The world around us, the company we choose to keep, our daily circumstances may present occasions to act out sinful attitudes and immoral desires. What is my sinful drive or impulse? Just as I needed to wash the inside of my windows to get off sticky grime, fingerprints, and dust, so too must I search and clean the inside of my heart. I must avoid all that is dangerous to my soul and cultivate a heart for God. There is always room for growth in our spiritual journey. Start today and remember always let your (well formed) conscience be your guide.
Spring weather brings with it a desire for spring cleaning-at least for me. This past Ash Wednesday was beautiful weather-near 70 degrees, soft breeze, and sunshine! With laundry hanging on the line and the kids playing in the sandbox, I began cleaning my windows. Having a big picture window that the kids look out of daily, I clean the inside of the windows several times during the winter. My husband helps me clean both sides and screens usually twice a year-once in May or June before Joanna's birthday and again in September or October before Dominic's. (My husband seems to think I planned the kids around window cleaning!)
Cleaning the outside of the windows by myself was a little out of the ordinary in the middle of February, but oh how it brought a sense of cleanliness and fulfillment! It sure seems to make everything seen through them brighter and more beautiful! It was nice to have "squeezed" in another set of clean windows. What an accomplishment!
I think we'd all agree that having freshly cleaned windows is a good thing. Now imagine having clean windows year round! The same is true for our souls. What an accomplishment to have gone to confession, be on good terms with God, and have a clean soul once more. The Church asks that you go to the Sacrament of Confession at least once a year. Fill us with a desire to strive to have our sins forgiven more often, O Lord! How about monthly? Weekly? Imagine having a clean soul year round!!
Now I can very well do the windows by myself, but let me tell you, its faster, easier, and much less dull to have assistance. Just like my husband helps to take apart the windows, clean the screens, and put the windows back in while I wash and dry, so too I need a helper to show me ways to grow in love and detach myself from sin. Maybe I need reassurance, spiritual direction, or a clearer vision of my faults/sins. I may need someone to hold me accountable in order to keep me down the right path.
Most importantly, I must remember that my spiritual relationship with God takes two, me and God! I had to rely on God to supply the good weather in order for me to be able to clean windows. Have you ever tried washing a cold window? It doesn't work. So too, our soul's cleanliness relies on God to supply the grace needed to grow in virtue and oppose the vice that creeps into our lives. We must pray, asking for that grace, fast and receive the sacraments which also gives us grace to maintain holiness.
Let's do a little comparing. The outside of the window represents the outside world. My windows were covered in dust, bird poo, and other various unknowns. Just like past generations, we live in a sinful culture. Daily we are bombarded by spiritually dirty things. We must be aware of evil from the world outside us as well as the devil himself. Let's face it-we can't avoid temptations. Most of us have vocations calling us to live in the world and are not summoned to be a hermit or nun behind closed doors. We must, however, avoid occasions of sin when possible. Occasions of sin are innumerable and not the same for each person or circumstance. Often we cannot avoid temptations, but we must prepare to meet it. First, by prayer, but also by various forms of fasting in order to grow in self-denial. (thank goodness for Lent!) By turning our minds away from things we know give rise to temptation, we shall grow in holiness.
Now let's examine the window screen. From experience, screens can be pretty filthy. It is exposed to the outside and is meant to keep the things you don't want in (debris, leaves, bugs, etc) out. I see our conscience as the screen for our souls. Venerable Louis of Granada in his book, The Sinner's Guide, says of this great gift we have been given by God:
"God, who gives His creatures all that is necessary for their perfection, has planted the seed of virtue in the soul of man and has endowed him with a natural inclination for good and an instinctive hatred of evil. This inclination can be weakened or perverted by a habit of vice, but it can never be totally destroyed. He has placed in the center of our souls a guardian that never sleeps, a monitor that is never silent, a master that never ceases to guide and sustain us."God has given us His promise "this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days says the Lord. I will place my law within them, and write it upon their hearts; I will be their God, and they shall be my people." (Jer 31:33) We instinctively know right and wrong, and by doing the right, we shall know the peace and joy of a good conscience.
The exact opposite is true when we sin. "But conscience, which is a kind master to the just, becomes a scourge to the wicked." (Ven. Louis of Granada) St. Ambrose asks: "Is there any greater torment in this world than remorse for conscience? Is it not a misery more to be feared than sickness, than exile, than loss of life or liberty?" And the 17th chapter of Wisdom, verse 11 reads: "For wickedness, of its nature cowardly, testifies in its own condemnation, and because of a distressed conscience, always magnifies misfortunes." We can all relate. Like Adam and Eve we realize we are "naked, " but we cannot hide from Him nor our conscience for it is the voice of God written in our hearts.
It is possible for our conscience to err, through our own fault or not, but we must be on guard to never let this happen. St. Paul tells us that the conscience of the Christian is a conscience whose rule and standard is the will of God. Our conscience is an infallible guide of right conduct if we form it in Christ. God has given us many gifts to foster Form your conscience according to God's law: the Ten Commandments, Beatitudes, Sacraments, and the teachings of the Church to name a few.
The following are the best means to cultivating and perfecting our consciences according to Fr. John Laux, M.A. in his book, Catholic Morality that I found to be helpful:
1. to practice truthfulness in word and deed
2. to repress those passions which tend to stifle the voice of conscience, especially pride and impurity
3. to examine our conscience every evening before retiring to rest
4. to go to confession frequently
5. to make a retreat from time to time
In Mark 7:21-23, Christ tells us from within our hearts "come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, and folly." We can't blame the devil, or our world for our sinfulness. We sin because we are sinners. The world around us, the company we choose to keep, our daily circumstances may present occasions to act out sinful attitudes and immoral desires. What is my sinful drive or impulse? Just as I needed to wash the inside of my windows to get off sticky grime, fingerprints, and dust, so too must I search and clean the inside of my heart. I must avoid all that is dangerous to my soul and cultivate a heart for God. There is always room for growth in our spiritual journey. Start today and remember always let your (well formed) conscience be your guide.
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than even he who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self. -Aristotle
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
I "heart" chocolate!
There's no denying that chocolate is an age-old traditional gift meant to capture the heart of a loved one. It seems that chocolate is around at every holiday in various forms. Ads in Sundays paper were filled with Valentine's Day deals of boxed and bagged chocolates. According to recent (and not so recent) health news, chocolate is the way to go, not just on special occasions, but all year long. I recently read that cocoa from dark chocolate lowers the risk of colon cancer because of its anti-carcinogenic effect. But most newsworthy studies and articles focus on this superfood's positive effect on cardiovascular health. It's amazing that chocolate sits in the same category as green tea, blueberries, and red wine! I have to admit, I'd love to get a chocolate gift this V-Day, but choosing the right one for me might be a little tricky. These are my chocolate must haves:
It's Gotta Be Dark
In my opinion, dark chocolate is more satisfying than milk chocolate and it never aggravates my sensitive teeth. I love that rich-full bodied chocolate taste! Research shows the darker the chocolate, the better! Why? Dark chocolate contains antioxidants (the cocoa phenols). Antioxidants are plant nutrients that support heart health, boost immunity, support healthy cells, slow done the effects of aging, support brain function, and may also help with weight management. Milk or white chocolate do not boast the health claims of dark chocolate. To get all the benefits chocolate has to offer, avoid most commercial chocolate that's laden with added sugar that has negative health effects.
My teeth say thank you too. Chocolate is beneficial for your teeth because it eliminates a certain bacteria in the mouth that contributes to tooth decay.
Organic
Conventionally grown cocoa is one of the highest pesticide-using crops. If I'm going to be consuming chocolate for health reasons, I might as well go all the way. Investing in organic dark chocolate assures me that no chemical pesticides, herbicides, or fungicides have been used. Additionally, no genetically modified ingredients (GMOs) are present, the product has not been irradiated, nor are there any preservatives or artificial ingredients.
Plain
Chocolate is packed with calories, so look for pure dark chocolate or dark chocolate with nuts or flavors such as orange peel. Any other fillers such as caramel are just added sugar and fat. The most consumed chocolate is the processed chocolate found in the grocery store check-out line. Studies suggest that these chocolates contribute to negative health issues because of the sugar content and other additives.
My current favorite is Green and Black's Organic 70% dark chocolate. It is fair trade certified as well! The bar is divided into small sections so you can keep track of how much you are eating. I also like Newman's Own Organics Super Dark Chocolate bar. I hope to find a new favorite-some imported dark chocolate with raw, unrefined organic sugar, pure vanilla, and no lecithin added. I'd love to have suggestions! Someday I'd like to try some raw cocoa bean nibs. (see next section)
Some findings also suggest that milk combined with dark chocolate can negate health benefits. I usually enjoy my dark chocolate right after a meal and finish my glass of water.
Cocoa Powder
After cacao beans are dried, roasted, and separated, the inside (nibs) are ground into cocoa butter and cocoa powder. The cocoa butter is the chocolate we eat. The powder, which is low in fat, is used to make hot chocolate and all those glorious sweet treats! My mouth waters just thinking of some of my favorites:
chocolate ice cream
my great-grandmother's chocolate crinkle cookies
chocolate bundt cake with chocolate ganache frosting
mom's chocolate pudding
brownies
For the best desserts, I always make them from scratch using all pure ingredients-better for your health and your taste buds! I currently use an organic Dutch cocoa powder (sorry Hershey's).
Go ahead-add dark chocolate to your diet. Your health will thank you! Just remember the best way to eat chocolate is in moderation. (Only a few ounces a day is recommended.) It should be eaten in the context of a well balanced diet and should never be substituted for your daily dose of fruits, vegies, or grains!
.
It's Gotta Be Dark
In my opinion, dark chocolate is more satisfying than milk chocolate and it never aggravates my sensitive teeth. I love that rich-full bodied chocolate taste! Research shows the darker the chocolate, the better! Why? Dark chocolate contains antioxidants (the cocoa phenols). Antioxidants are plant nutrients that support heart health, boost immunity, support healthy cells, slow done the effects of aging, support brain function, and may also help with weight management. Milk or white chocolate do not boast the health claims of dark chocolate. To get all the benefits chocolate has to offer, avoid most commercial chocolate that's laden with added sugar that has negative health effects.
My teeth say thank you too. Chocolate is beneficial for your teeth because it eliminates a certain bacteria in the mouth that contributes to tooth decay.
Organic
Conventionally grown cocoa is one of the highest pesticide-using crops. If I'm going to be consuming chocolate for health reasons, I might as well go all the way. Investing in organic dark chocolate assures me that no chemical pesticides, herbicides, or fungicides have been used. Additionally, no genetically modified ingredients (GMOs) are present, the product has not been irradiated, nor are there any preservatives or artificial ingredients.
Plain
Chocolate is packed with calories, so look for pure dark chocolate or dark chocolate with nuts or flavors such as orange peel. Any other fillers such as caramel are just added sugar and fat. The most consumed chocolate is the processed chocolate found in the grocery store check-out line. Studies suggest that these chocolates contribute to negative health issues because of the sugar content and other additives.
My current favorite is Green and Black's Organic 70% dark chocolate. It is fair trade certified as well! The bar is divided into small sections so you can keep track of how much you are eating. I also like Newman's Own Organics Super Dark Chocolate bar. I hope to find a new favorite-some imported dark chocolate with raw, unrefined organic sugar, pure vanilla, and no lecithin added. I'd love to have suggestions! Someday I'd like to try some raw cocoa bean nibs. (see next section)
Some findings also suggest that milk combined with dark chocolate can negate health benefits. I usually enjoy my dark chocolate right after a meal and finish my glass of water.
Cocoa Powder
After cacao beans are dried, roasted, and separated, the inside (nibs) are ground into cocoa butter and cocoa powder. The cocoa butter is the chocolate we eat. The powder, which is low in fat, is used to make hot chocolate and all those glorious sweet treats! My mouth waters just thinking of some of my favorites:
chocolate ice cream
my great-grandmother's chocolate crinkle cookies
chocolate bundt cake with chocolate ganache frosting
mom's chocolate pudding
brownies
For the best desserts, I always make them from scratch using all pure ingredients-better for your health and your taste buds! I currently use an organic Dutch cocoa powder (sorry Hershey's).
Go ahead-add dark chocolate to your diet. Your health will thank you! Just remember the best way to eat chocolate is in moderation. (Only a few ounces a day is recommended.) It should be eaten in the context of a well balanced diet and should never be substituted for your daily dose of fruits, vegies, or grains!
.
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