Spring weather brings with it a desire for spring cleaning-at least for me. This past Ash Wednesday was beautiful weather-near 70 degrees, soft breeze, and sunshine! With laundry hanging on the line and the kids playing in the sandbox, I began cleaning my windows. Having a big picture window that the kids look out of daily, I clean the inside of the windows several times during the winter. My husband helps me clean both sides and screens usually twice a year-once in May or June before Joanna's birthday and again in September or October before Dominic's. (My husband seems to think I planned the kids around window cleaning!)
Cleaning the outside of the windows by myself was a little out of the ordinary in the middle of February, but oh how it brought a sense of cleanliness and fulfillment! It sure seems to make everything seen through them brighter and more beautiful! It was nice to have "squeezed" in another set of clean windows. What an accomplishment!
I think we'd all agree that having freshly cleaned windows is a good thing. Now imagine having clean windows year round! The same is true for our souls. What an accomplishment to have gone to confession, be on good terms with God, and have a clean soul once more. The Church asks that you go to the Sacrament of Confession at least once a year. Fill us with a desire to strive to have our sins forgiven more often, O Lord! How about monthly? Weekly? Imagine having a clean soul year round!!
Now I can very well do the windows by myself, but let me tell you, its faster, easier, and much less dull to have assistance. Just like my husband helps to take apart the windows, clean the screens, and put the windows back in while I wash and dry, so too I need a helper to show me ways to grow in love and detach myself from sin. Maybe I need reassurance, spiritual direction, or a clearer vision of my faults/sins. I may need someone to hold me accountable in order to keep me down the right path.
Most importantly, I must remember that my spiritual relationship with God takes two, me and God! I had to rely on God to supply the good weather in order for me to be able to clean windows. Have you ever tried washing a cold window? It doesn't work. So too, our soul's cleanliness relies on God to supply the grace needed to grow in virtue and oppose the vice that creeps into our lives. We must pray, asking for that grace, fast and receive the sacraments which also gives us grace to maintain holiness.
Let's do a little comparing. The outside of the window represents the outside world. My windows were covered in dust, bird poo, and other various unknowns. Just like past generations, we live in a sinful culture. Daily we are bombarded by spiritually dirty things. We must be aware of evil from the world outside us as well as the devil himself. Let's face it-we can't avoid temptations. Most of us have vocations calling us to live in the world and are not summoned to be a hermit or nun behind closed doors. We must, however, avoid occasions of sin when possible. Occasions of sin are innumerable and not the same for each person or circumstance. Often we cannot avoid temptations, but we must prepare to meet it. First, by prayer, but also by various forms of fasting in order to grow in self-denial. (thank goodness for Lent!) By turning our minds away from things we know give rise to temptation, we shall grow in holiness.
Now let's examine the window screen. From experience, screens can be pretty filthy. It is exposed to the outside and is meant to keep the things you don't want in (debris, leaves, bugs, etc) out. I see our conscience as the screen for our souls. Venerable Louis of Granada in his book, The Sinner's Guide, says of this great gift we have been given by God:
"God, who gives His creatures all that is necessary for their perfection, has planted the seed of virtue in the soul of man and has endowed him with a natural inclination for good and an instinctive hatred of evil. This inclination can be weakened or perverted by a habit of vice, but it can never be totally destroyed. He has placed in the center of our souls a guardian that never sleeps, a monitor that is never silent, a master that never ceases to guide and sustain us."God has given us His promise "this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days says the Lord. I will place my law within them, and write it upon their hearts; I will be their God, and they shall be my people." (Jer 31:33) We instinctively know right and wrong, and by doing the right, we shall know the peace and joy of a good conscience.
The exact opposite is true when we sin. "But conscience, which is a kind master to the just, becomes a scourge to the wicked." (Ven. Louis of Granada) St. Ambrose asks: "Is there any greater torment in this world than remorse for conscience? Is it not a misery more to be feared than sickness, than exile, than loss of life or liberty?" And the 17th chapter of Wisdom, verse 11 reads: "For wickedness, of its nature cowardly, testifies in its own condemnation, and because of a distressed conscience, always magnifies misfortunes." We can all relate. Like Adam and Eve we realize we are "naked, " but we cannot hide from Him nor our conscience for it is the voice of God written in our hearts.
It is possible for our conscience to err, through our own fault or not, but we must be on guard to never let this happen. St. Paul tells us that the conscience of the Christian is a conscience whose rule and standard is the will of God. Our conscience is an infallible guide of right conduct if we form it in Christ. God has given us many gifts to foster Form your conscience according to God's law: the Ten Commandments, Beatitudes, Sacraments, and the teachings of the Church to name a few.
The following are the best means to cultivating and perfecting our consciences according to Fr. John Laux, M.A. in his book, Catholic Morality that I found to be helpful:
1. to practice truthfulness in word and deed
2. to repress those passions which tend to stifle the voice of conscience, especially pride and impurity
3. to examine our conscience every evening before retiring to rest
4. to go to confession frequently
5. to make a retreat from time to time
In Mark 7:21-23, Christ tells us from within our hearts "come evil thoughts, unchastity, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, licentiousness, envy, blasphemy, arrogance, and folly." We can't blame the devil, or our world for our sinfulness. We sin because we are sinners. The world around us, the company we choose to keep, our daily circumstances may present occasions to act out sinful attitudes and immoral desires. What is my sinful drive or impulse? Just as I needed to wash the inside of my windows to get off sticky grime, fingerprints, and dust, so too must I search and clean the inside of my heart. I must avoid all that is dangerous to my soul and cultivate a heart for God. There is always room for growth in our spiritual journey. Start today and remember always let your (well formed) conscience be your guide.
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than even he who conquers his enemies, for the hardest victory is over self. -Aristotle
